Chapter 42 | The Tale of Two Kingdoms

Birds

"Is this how you normally eat?" said the Teacher in fascinated revulsion, watching Temmin finish off a cold half of a chicken.

Temmin licked his lips in bemusement and picked a scrap of skin from his teeth. "What d'you mean?"

"Oh, do wipe your face! Good gods, you must drive that poor manservant of yours to distraction."

"In fact, he does," said Jenks. "Are you done, your highness?"

Temmin regarded the unfortunate but delicious bird's skeleton. "It would appear so," he said sadly.

"Never worry, young sir, I'll order you up a good tea," said Jenks, picking up the tray to leave. "Shall I plan for you too, sir?" he said to Teacher.

"No, and I dislike 'sir' intensely," answered the Teacher coldly.

"I do beg your pardon," said Jenks, flushing angrily.

But before he could walk away, the Teacher stopped him gently. "You have no reason to call me 'sir' in any event, Colonel Jenks. My rank is no higher than yours in this house." Jenks regarded the Teacher carefully, nodded and left the room with the tray.

Temmin blew out a breath. "Well! I'm glad I didn't have to watch that fight!" he said. "I'd hate to have to patch you up after, I don't know if there'd be anything left!"

The Teacher sighed. "Be glad neither the Colonel nor I take great offense easily. Go fetch your book, child." Temmin settled into his chair and opened the History.

The next day, the princess rejoined the daily life of the Keep. She appeared in the garden to walk among the flowers; she was dressed in soft green instead of black, but a widow's coif covered her hair. When Warin tried to walk with her, he was thoroughly rebuffed: "I am not inclined to speak so privately with you, your majesty," was the only reason she would give. He left her alone with a bow. But at dinner, she once again sat beside her father and answered Warin's questions. Her smile was a little brighter, and she even met his eyes once or twice.

"Patience," said the Teacher in Warin's study that night as the king paced the floor.

"I am trying, but Fredrik intends to start for Leutefloss in two weeks! I'm running out of time. My nights--Teacher," he said, turning a haggard face to his advisor, "I can think of nothing but her."

"She's nearly ready to hear your suit, your majesty. Be steadfast. What have you sent her lately?"

"Violet silk for a new dress," answered Warin distractedly. "A fan made of aromatic wood from Inchar, I think they call it sandalwood--you have no idea how much that cost. Her favorite sweets, made with a particular kind of plum that only grows on the banks of the Leute. Thank Amma Fredrik brought a bushel of the dried things with him! She hasn't sent anything back, so I suppose she likes what I've given her."

"She wants to like them, your majesty, trust me. And tomorrow?"

"Well--I was running out of ideas, so--"

"A bird?" said the princess to her maidservant in the opposite wing of the Keep the next morning. "He sent me a bird?" She peered into the cage in the maid's hands.

"It's a nightingale, my lady," beamed the maid as she hung it near a window. "They sing, oh, it's so beautiful it'll break your heart, it will! They say they sing because they miss their true loves--perhaps that's why his majesty sent it."

"We have nightingales in Leutefloss, thank you very much," she said angrily. She stomped out of her sitting room, down the stairs to the king's chambers and demanded admittance. She found the king in conference with several lords including her father, Warin's dark head bent over a map. He looked up immediately on her entrance and straightened.

"Explain yourself, sir!" she spat.

"Explain myself how, my lady?" said Warin, all confusion.

"I received your gift this morning. What do you mean, giving me--me!--something in a cage! Something that sings because it can't help itself--crude, unthinking man, explain yourself!"

"My lords, the dowager queen would speak to me on a private matter. Please excuse us." The lords bowed, and Fredrik couldn't resist giving the young king a wink, which Warin returned with a stern look.

He steered the princess into his private sitting room and regarded her calmly. She had run down the stairs so violently her veil was askew on her head, and she was trembling with rage, her lower lip jutting out and her fists clenched at her sides. For all that, she was still the most beautiful woman Warin had ever laid eyes on, and the most spirited. His heart ached for her. He wanted to straighten her veil for her--no, he wanted to take it off, and the widow's coif beneath it, and let down all that rich chestnut hair--

"Well?" she snapped. "Stop staring at me and tell me what you mean by this horrid gift!"

"I bought it from a bird trader in the city," he replied quietly. "I thought you might like to set it free."

The Princess took a sharp, astonished breath and stared at him for a good while. "Yes," she said finally, "I think I would." She extended her hand to him. "Would--would you like to join me in the garden and open the cage with me?"

He took her hand, bowed over it and released her. "I would like nothing more," he smiled. He called for a page to fetch the bird in its cage and meet them in the pleasure gardens, and then he walked her out onto the terrace and into the garden paths, carefully keeping his distance.

"Shouldn't you be back with my father and the other lords?" she asked.

"You are more important," he said softly, with a look that she could not mistake.

The page bearing the elegantly woven little cage soon found them. "Thank you," said Warin, taking the cage and dismissing the boy with a gentle pat. "Whenever you're ready, my lady."

The princess looked into the cage at the tiny bird. He looked at her with one eye, then the other, opened his little beak, and began to trill and sob. "Such a beautiful song," she whispered. "You should go sing it to your ladylove." She fumbled with the latch, and the nightingale stopped singing and hopped back in alarm. "Now, it's all right, just give me a moment--there!"

The cage door sprung open and she stepped back. The bird hung back for a moment, then hopped onto the threshhold and took flight before his captors could change their minds. He flew low over the flowers, gathering speed, until he flitted over the meadows and into the King's Woods.

They looked after him as if they might actually see the flash of his little wings in among the leaves. "Thank you," she finally said, her voice soft and emotional. "That's the best gift you could have given me."

Warin bowed. "I'm very, very pleased that you liked it." He offered his arm. "May I--would you care to walk the gardens with me a while?" She took the proferred arm and they walked slowly among the flowers.

Every day in those last two weeks, Warin would walk with her through the gardens. He always offered his arm and nothing more, letting her set the pace of both the walk and the connection between them. One day she came to the gardens with her Inchari fan; another, in a gown made of the violet silk he'd given her. Still another day, she shyly gave him an elaborately embroidered favor of her intials, a pair of rabbits forming an archway over the letters. He realized it was the embroidery he'd returned to her as a gift turned to a new purpose, and his heart swelled with hope.

Warin's nights were spent yearning to touch her body again, to feel her soft hair slip through his fingers, to trace the curve of her hip. He would close his eyes as he stroked himself, trying to conjure her every taste, smell and sound. if he were very quiet, he could almost hear her urgent cries--Faster, please, love, please, more, yes, please--and he would jerk helplessly as he spurted into his fist.

At the very same time, she lay awake in her bed, shaking with her own honest desire for him--the memory of his beard brushing her neck, the strength of his arms around her, his weight holding her down on the bed as he entered her. Her hand would drift down her body between her legs as she remembered, circling round and round until she came, his name in her heart but not on her lips. Had he known, he would have beaten down her door, and she would not have stopped him.

But in the daylight, she was reserved, and he remained patient.

On a perfect summer morning at the end of the two weeks, they walked until they found a secluded bench, surrounded by climbing roses and honeysuckle. She pulled him down to sit beside her. "My father says he must return to Leutefloss very soon. I must decide what I am to do today."

Warin was silent for a long moment. "Do you wish to go home with him?"

"Do you wish me to stay?"

"I wish you to be happy."

"But do you wish me to stay?" she asked gently.

"Always. Forever. I love you, I love you whether you're Emmae or Edmerka."

She turned to him and smiled. "I really do hate that name. From now on, call me Emmae." She raised her lips to be kissed and closed her eyes.

But Warin's lips never met hers. She opened her eyes again in confusion.

Warin was looking down at her with a mixture of desire and amusement on his handsome face. "You are a grown woman. If you want a kiss," he said, soft and low, "don't sit there. Take one."

Her breath caught, and some barrier inside her broke wide open. Emmae quickly slipped her hand behind his neck and drew his mouth down to hers. The kiss started as it ended, suddenly and passionately. She drew away from him; they were both panting.

"I am asking for nothing from you, no matter how much I might want it," Warin said desperately. "What do you want? You will have to ask for it."

"You," she said, barely restraining herself. "I want you." She put her arms around his neck.

"Then have me," he murmured, his low voice shivering its way from her ear to her center. "Have me, gods, please have me." She laughed aloud and brought his mouth to hers again, his lips soft and unresisting. She opened his mouth with her tongue and he groaned deep in his throat, but his hands remained at his sides.

The kiss deepened. Emmae stood, not leaving his mouth, and sat down again in his lap, drawing his arms around her. Warin pressed her close and she moved her lips to his neck; his head fell back to give her better access. He felt her small hand reach under his tunic, brushing his belly before slipping down to free his painfully hard cock. He gasped, and she bit his shoulder, sucking in skin. He whimpered something that might have been a prayer, or her name.

The taste and smell of his skin mingled with the honeysuckle, and she bit him again as she stroked his cock, pulling a strangled noise from his throat. "Help me with my skirts," she begged. He bunched her skirts up around her waist and she straddled him. Warin put his hands under her naked bottom but made no other move, though his dark eyes were pleading.

Emmae guided him into her and slowly sank down his entire length. "I dreamed of this," he moaned. "Every night I dreamed of being inside you--oh, Emmae, I can't stay still!"

"Then move," she whispered tightly. With a cry he pushed up into her. She breathed convulsively as he helped her rise and fall in his lap, impaling herself on his cock over and over. She was wetter than ever, her juices running down onto the stone bench.

Warin gripped her bottom tight, and Emmae felt her climax begin. It was nothing as it had been under the enchantment. She felt full of some strange power that was entirely her own--as if she were swallowing his every thrust and cry and turning it into something golden inside her that built and built until she locked her legs around him and the melting gold overwhelmed her and she threw her head back and screamed with joy.

"Yes! Yes! Oh, my love! Oh, my Emmae!" he sobbed as she pulsed around him. He buried his head in her breasts, pulled her down hard onto him and nearly shook himself apart with the force of his orgasm.

When he came to himself again, she was still wrapped around him, and they were both breathing hard. She untangled her arms from his neck and pulled back to look down into his face. His gaze was open, completely unguarded, full of wonder and full of love. She smiled down at him and kissed him tenderly.

"Marry me," she said.

"As soon as my legs can hold me up," he laughed, and she joined him, touching her forehead to his. "I mean it. When we are recovered, we are returning to the palace and I am summoning the high priest to perform the vows this very instant. Are we in accord, my lady?"

"Very much, my lord," she whispered. She kissed him again, then slipped from his lap and stood, brushing ineffectually at her wrinkled skirts. "Everyone will know what we've been about."

He rose from the bench, studying its damp condition with satisfaction while he fastened up his hose. "Do you care?"

She considered, then smiled. "No."

"Then let's be married," said Warin. He caught up her hand and they ran, laughing, into the palace.

Temmin's attention slowly returned to his study, but he still felt the couple's passion, intensely. He began waiting impatiently for his erection to subside.

"And so," said the Teacher's quiet voice, "Warin and Emmae were married that very day. In time, Fredrik died, leaving no male heir legitimate or otherwise, and the Kingdom of Tremont became the Greater Kingdom of Tremont and Leutefloss on the ascension of Warin's son Gethin III. Emmae gave Warin six sons and as many daughters, and the king and queen remained devoted to each other the rest of their lives."

"Why is none of this in the official history books?" said Temmin.

"And what historian would dare write of a queen who suffered such an enchantment?"

"You, for starters," said Temmin, finally standing to stretch his arms over his head.

"I fear you've grown again," said the Teacher. "Good gods, boy, put your arms down. Tell Jenks you need your shirttails lengthened at once, I can see your belly, and it's much too furry for polite company."

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sarianna's picture

Awww!

So sweet. And here I was, ready for Warin to screw up with the nightingale--nice save, your majesty! That level of self-control! Something for Temmin to emulate, no doubt. What a lovely story to read on a rainy afternoon. Once again, MeiLin, you've outdone yourself. Cool

V's picture

No save, entirely expected

When I reread this I noticed several other small clues...Warin is crazy like a fox. Our author is fond of the word "crisis", including "healing crisis", and it is singularly appropriate in this case. Warin knowingly instigated a crisis, as indicated by the wink from King Fredrik, and it played out exactly as he foresaw. Swift explosion, direct conflict, paradigm shift, resolution. Even more manipulative than Ellika was with Temmin's new sparring partner.

There's another clue in this line: "Explain myself how, my lady?" said Warin, all confusion.
There is a subtle but important difference between "all confused" and "all confusion". One is a state of mind, the other is a state of -appearance-

MeiLin's picture

clever V

Smiling

Do I use crisis a lot? Is three times a lot? That's all I found with a quick search.

V's picture

Absolutely

But I didn't say you used it a lot--just that you're fond of it. Both as a device, and by some of the unconventional but appropriate places you use it. But I feel rather less clever after reading down through the rest of the comments and realizing that I'd really just restated what you'd already established as fact...and gotten it slightly wrong, to boot.

It stuck in my head when Allis used crisis as a synonym for "orgasm" in Ch 24 because the use was new to me but also very appropriate, and I noticed when we heard that Ellika had been trying to prompt a "healing crisis" with her overt flirting. It then occurred to me that she'd provoked a crisis with Arta/Fen/Temmin. And now Warin here.

Thinking more, there's the Traveler Queen instigating one between Warin and Hildin. I could probably find other examples, but I shouldn't be surprised...conflict and duress make great stories.

Sharkinabox's picture

42!

I know that shouldn't amuses me as much as it does, but it seems appropriate that the number I associate with the meaning of life should be about love reclaimed and consummated.

kawaiikune's picture

Re: 42!

I bet you're not the only one that's going to be amused by that Smiling I think that many could agree that "love reclaimed and consummated" is, in fact, the meaning of life, the universe and everything. This is one of the best chapters yet.

MeiLin's picture

you know

I didn't even notice it until you guys pointed it out!

NoodletwigMeow's picture

ooh

I didn't even catch that.
But yes, it is very appropriate, considering.... ^_^
good eye!

kawaiikune's picture

Poor Temmin

It seems like everyone is teasing Temmin these days...Issak and Allis (both themselves and in the other people that they show him), Ellika, and even the Teacher with his stories. Granted, he's getting plenty of attention at the temple, but I think that sometimes even playing can't compare to the real thing. *I'm* starting to go crazy waiting for him to lose his virginity.

I also have to say that I'm glad that Temmin and the Teacher seem to be growing closer. The Teacher has been teasing him a lot more lately, and I think a good relationship with the Teacher is going to be the best thing for the kingdom, etc. as well as his private happiness. I did wonder when Jenks and the Teacher would have more interaction, as it seems like they share a role, and would need to cooperate at some point to raise Temmin together. They seem more like his parents than his real parents.

Sharkinabox's picture

Surrogates

If you're going to have surrogates, I can't see that you could do much better than Jenks and Teacher. I would like to know more of their history, though. They clearly know more of each other than they're willing to tell Temmin. Or perhaps I'm wrong? Maybe their encounter in the bonus story where Jenks' retainer was arranged was the entirety of their interaction? (Before he returned to Tremont Palace with Temmin of course)

MeiLin's picture

that was pretty much it

Teacher knows Jenks much, much better than Jenks knows Teacher.

Quikngruvn's picture

Yay, there it is!

There's the 'happily ever after' we've been waiting for!

That was wonderful, MeiLin. I'm so happy for Warin and Emmae, even if they lived 800 years ago....

kawaiikune's picture

A little early for a happily ever after...

don't you think? I hope that now that this story is over, we don't stop hearing stories from the book. It seems like there's a lot left to happen in Temmin's life, so that a Tale of Two Kingdoms should continue for a while, but Warin's story seems to be pretty well over. I'm definitely going to miss hearing about Warin and Emmae (I love them both!), but maybe there's someone new we can hear about? Here's hoping!

MeiLin's picture

There are many, many other stories still in the History

We will probably not be revisiting Warin and Emmae (though I could be wrong--after all, we may end up looking in on Gethin the Sad or Gethin II), but we've got 1000 years of family history to choose from, not necessarily in chronological order. The next book, "The Queen Who Ruled by Herself," continues the story of Temmin and his family and introduces a new ancestor and set of characters from Temmin's family history. More in a blog post later.

kawaiikune's picture

I'm really looking forward to

I'm really looking forward to this. That's going to be awesome.

I also have to say that I really like how the title of this one pertains mostly to the nightingale/caged bird analogy, but also how it begins with Temmin eating the bird. It kind of makes me think of the current differences between Temmin and Warin, and how Temmin tends to tear into things and make a mess of them, and Warin is very delicate with Emmae, etc. and is very careful to make sure that she maintains her freedom. They're both successful in their own ways, but I think/hope Temmin will grow to be more like Warin.

manoki's picture

now hold on

...did Warin really plan to have her release the nightingale? or was he just thinking fast on his feet? After all, he took the time to dismiss the advisors he was meeting with and find a private place to talk to Emmae. I'm a little surprised she changed her attitude so quickly unless her anger was a sham, too, just to have an excuse for a big shakeup.

-Manoki

Shade's picture

This question has nothing

This question has nothing whatsoever to do with the story - but I was looking at your icon . . . is that a pregnant belly painted like a jack o' lantern?

MeiLin's picture

yes

I have known Manoki a long time, and that is indeed a preg-o-lantern. Smiling

manoki's picture

Prego-lantern...I like that!

Yes, we go back over 11 years now, isn't it? Amazing.

I'm really loving the story; sorry that the Warin and Emmae part is finished. Couldn't they go on an adventure together and save the kingdom from some terrible thing? And, I'd like to hear about how the kingdom reacted to Hildin's death and Warin's coronation, the second wedding, how the new royals ruled together, how Emmae got along with Teacher...

-Manoki

MeiLin's picture

planned all along

This was Warin's plan from the beginning, about setting it free. He didn't think she'd get that pissed off, but he'd never really seen Edmerka in full tantrum mode. He thought it could be something he'd tell her in the garden later--"you know that bird I gave you? yeah, would you like to set it free?" If he'd been a little more suave, he'd have had the bird with him in the garden rather than sending it to her rooms. But hey! He's been a woodsman for ten years! Socially retarded ain't innit!

Emmae was looking for a good reason to forgive him--she did love him, after all--and she stopped so abruptly in her tantrum because she felt she'd misunderstood his intent and was embarrassed. It still took him two weeks to convince her to get married after the bird thing.

MeiLin's picture

interesting side note

When I first wrote this chapter last night, Warin gave her a kitten for a pet, not a nightingale to set free. And both Warin and Emmae looked at me and said, "A kitten? srsly?!" Shocked Emmae added, "what, is the Keep infested with mice?" She's not a cat person as it happens. OK fine, I said, not a kitten.

teehee's picture

ha

ne lolcat pas? That's okay-- the other imagery is enough to want to kick my hubby's friend out for a little role-playing of the Two Kingdoms variety!!

Shade's picture

Ewww.

I'm thinking I'm destined to never have sex, lmfao.

The only thought I had was "oh god, that's disgusting" . . . mostly at the juices line Barf!

Oh, OCD . . .

Disregarding the sex, this was a nice tie up to that particular portion of story. I'm agreeing that the nightingale was a nice touch - but I have the same question as Manoki in regards to Warin's planning or quick-footed mind. I'm leaning towards the former, as I'm inclined to like Warin, but you're the only one who knows, esteemed authoress . . .

I'm excited to hear about the Queen Who Ruled By Herself too XD XD XD

MeiLin's picture

honey

Sex is messy. It's almost the definition of sex. If you're not so much with the messy, you may want to invest in some latex. Lots an' lots o' latex. It's still messy, but it's a little contained and disposable that way. Eye-wink

I'm just getting to hear the Queen's story myself. I think it's shaping up into a good 'un.

Shade's picture

mmhmm

I'm sure sex is messy . . . just get the heebie jeebies thinking about it. I don't really like being touched either, so I'm not too eager to get into it, lol. I take it there's no way to do it that doesn't involve any oozingness? Sticking out tongue
This story is definitely an eye-opener for me. Laughing out loud

Anonymoose's picture

My fiance is OCD, but he got

My fiance is OCD, but he got over the whole "sex is yucky" thing. I think it helped that we were both virgins, we got to experience it with each other for the first time. Eye-wink

NoodletwigMeow's picture

Hahaha

Do you read Questionable Content, by any chance?
Your comment about sex=disgusting reminds me of Hannelore, one of the characters in QC. She is very adorably OCD. (I realize that OCD isn't really a "cute" affliction by any means, and i'm not trying to downplay its severity; just sayin. The way she's portrayed... thoroughly adorable. You should read it... )

teehee's picture

QC FTW

Fellow Jephaphile here! I want the Pintsize hoodie... but I like Faye the bestest. I slightly dislike Dora just because I still want Faye to get Martin. I got junk in my trunk like Faye and my DH is a cute, slender music boy like Martin, so I may be a little biased.

(Raven is who I might secretly want to be.)

Shade's picture

I actually love QC XD And

I actually love QC XD
And really do identify with Hannelore, lmao, though I'm nowhere near as severe . . . not on any medications either Sticking out tongue Even though I'm a pharmacy student, I don't trust mental medications . . . oh, irony.

But yeah, I laughed my ass off at the gin thing this week - that I've done Sticking out tongue

SongCoyote's picture

An Offering of Sixty-eight Syllables

The breath of lovers
Brings very diff'rent feelings
Than the wind's sweet sighs

Yet both are needed
For the world to keep spinning
In beautiful dance

Renew me, my love
Restore my faith in passion
Like sweet water's touch

With your eyes alone
You drink all my heart away
But leave it still whole

Thank you for these and so many other delights, MeiLin. Love be with you always.

Light and laughter,
SongCoyote

V's picture

Excellent chapter!

There's certain chapters in any book that just stand proud of their surroundings...this is one of them. Very, very nicely done. I can't say that I would have had Warrin's insight and anticipation of the consequences to send the gift in the first place, but about halfway into Emmae's temper tantrum I was all but shouting the answer to him. I'm glad he picked up on it Smiling

NoodletwigMeow's picture

LAWL

"I can see your belly, and it's much too furry for polite company" - has got to be the funniest line yet. Temmy is fuzzy! So adowabuhls! ^_^
That, and the blazing make-up sex, make this a thoroughly awesome chapter.

sarianna's picture

My mind totally went elsewhere.

"Temmy Bear," anyone? *giggle*

Kahlmulandr's picture

Good Laugh

I got a good laugh out of that line here at work and got some funny looks Puzzled . Ah the joys of 3rd shift downtime means readtime.

Kahl

raecchi's picture

Brilliant timing

Finally, finally, finally! The slow, steadfast courtship was like a fairy tale (it made me half fall in love with Warrin myself!) and now they've got their fairy tale ending at long last. I'm a mass of warm fuzzies now.

It doesn't help that it's a gorgeous, sunny day and my love just came home from a trip. Oof. I'm just going to take my giddy self elsewhere until I settle down or I'm going to start frolicking about. (And clearly, no one wants such a terrifying thing.)

I really want to know more about Teacher, too -- starting with what's going on between him and the Traveler queen! My pet theories are that they're either lovers who were cursed to remain apart, or that their different types of magic force them to keep their distance.

Scarth's picture

Excellent chapter

... as always. Eye-wink

Is this the end of book one? If not, how much more is there?

MeiLin's picture

one more chapter

...and we're at the end of book one. Book two will start in a week or two; I need some time to ready the print and ebook editions, and to map out the arc of book two more completely.

Scarth's picture

Sweet.

Just one more question - why are all of us who don't have pictures crackers?

Sharkinabox's picture

I had wondered

I had wondered about that as well. I didn't particularly enjoy being a Cheezit, so I did something about it.

MeiLin's picture

in part

...to encourage people to get their own icons, and in part because of a review from a little over a month ago, in which the reviewer said in part, and I quote:

Her writing style is weak, but since it is her first original work, I'm hopeful it will improve. The majority of the posters who rave about this story confuse me, but I guess they like it for its junk-food appeal. I read it, but it is to literature what cheez-its are to foie gras: cheaper, quicker, and not nearly as good.

The author also seems to think that she's writing hot sex scenes, but there's only been one so far that even comes close-- the scene in the lovers' temple. All the non con is definitely not hot-- I can't imagine someone who's into it even thinking its hot. But I'm sure she'll learn, and its worth checking out as a time killer.

So you guys are all junk food fans, and in pondering default icons I have had this in the wings for a while and just got around to deploying it. Interestingly, the reviewer is still a regular reader, though not commenter, which means she probably still doesn't like it. She must have a lot of time to kill. Laughing out loud

Sharkinabox's picture

Literature

I've never been sure what makes something literature. That review certainly implies that this doesn't qualify. I'm not well read or well versed enough to try to speak on that, really. I wish I were. Perhaps I'll go read some tomes over the summer that might educate me. Although I haven't enjoyed reading criticism in the past.

MeiLin's picture

here's the thing

I don't really care if I'm "literature," which I take to mean serious, weighty, Great American Novels or whatever. I'm writing genre, though which genre is open for debate.

I'm not aiming for Oprah's book club, or the Pulitzer, or the Booker prize. I'm not aiming for deep, psycho-semantic po-mo crit in the student union by bored sophomore English majors trying to pass for grad students. I'm aiming at making my readers so happy that they'll want to read everything I write, just because I wrote it. Georgette Heyer's been dead more than 30 years, but many of her books are either still in print or being reprinted as we speak; she's sold 20 million books to date. She's not "literature," but she's well-researched, entertaining, spirited and absolutely charming. I aim for that.

I know I'm not good enough to deserve my own track in the English department. And I don't really care. I just want you guys to be full of squeeing delight because I've written something for you. And for the most part, 500-600 of you a day are. Considering most writers never get anyone to read anything they've written (for instance, Sir himself doesn't read the story), I'm okay with that.

Sharkinabox's picture

Hurrah. I rather like the

Hurrah. I rather like the sound of that. If you are aiming to write things that people will enjoy reading, then you have hit the mark as far as I'm concerned. Of course, this assumes that I am a people. Anyway, I tend to ponder questions (defining literature and so on) even when their answers won't affect my beliefs/desires/actions (I like the Intimate History and will keep reading).

SongCoyote's picture

Not everyone is a good critic.

In my opinion, reviews scrawled by people who bandy the appellation "literature" about with what is obviously a personal definition designed to allow them to segregate their personal tastes rather than examine a work on the meritof its story flow, characterization, and plot are not worth the aether burned to host them.

But that's just one undereducated Coyote's opinion. Another is that your writing is very enjoyable to read and does touch on important aspects of the human psych, relationships, concepts of leadership, and many others. Ergo, it is good.

Light and laughter,
SongCoyote

Chad-Writtenfire's picture

Literature

"Literature," and what constitutes or should constitute the classic "literary canon" is a highly debated area in literary studies. Most people claim that whatever they study is worthy of inclusion in the canon and should be taught in general English courses (although a few acknowledge that their areas are rather too specific for most courses, even if they think their literature is just as good).

All it all, it's rather a useless term, although it's used often enough, uncritically, and can mean anything. I hear it from high school English teachers a lot...since unfortunately the AP English test uses the phrase, "works of literary merit" to describe the texts that should be read and studied in AP English.

That reviewer had an opinion and tried to make the opinion sound like a fact. Shame on her, and there's no reason to believe her.

Popular literature (and by using that term I just mean "things that are written") is of great cultural worth, simply because it is popular and therefore related and meaningful in some way to the culture from which it arises. And, at the moment, you have many more readers than detractors. Eye-wink

Samuel Johnson argued that a work of literary merit is one that has stood the "test of time." That is, anything that has lasted through generations and centuries and is still popular. Thus, Shakespeare, Sophocles, and the others. Thus..."only time will tell."

Another common way to describe "works of literary merit" is that they, in some way, describe and attempt to explain the human condition. Who are we, why are we here, what do we mean, how do we treat each other, what is the proper relation of youth to old age, what is the proper behavior of an individual as regards his society, what is the best society...etc.

I don't make judgments of literary merit. I just tell you whether or not I like something, and why. If I can convince enough people with my argument that it's worth reading...well, maybe that's a good start.

On another note, I despise reality television shows. Popularity isn't everything, and shallow drama irritates me.

sarianna's picture

Comparative Literature...

is what I'm studying (undergrad), and it likes to think that lots of things count as literature. Last semester I was applying Kinsey and Foucault to Torchwood, for example (paper called "There's Gay in the Coffee," heheh). Right now I'm looking at barely-post-Columbian pictorial literature (codices) and Superman/Mickey Mouse. Literature isn't just the same tired Americana and Historically Important Documents; sure, Huck Finn and Aristotle have their place, but we're still creating here, people! Eye-wink

MeiLin's picture

"Gay in the Coffee!"

eeeeheheheheee! I am a Ianto fangirl, it's so sad and it's true.

"Huck Finn" is actually a very entertaining read, there's nothing stuff or pretentious about it, as is true of most of Twain's writing; plain-spoken vernacular, bless his heart.

sarianna's picture

Ianto is the only one who actually consents, as it turns out

I ended up presenting that paper at a conference, too; the gist of it is that current theory of sexual orientation is broken because consent isn't a factor. Because thought-controlling sexy aliens and pheromonal technology isn't something repressed dead dude thought of.

Oh, I've read and enjoyed both of my examples of what is classically considered to be literature. Nerd that I am, I also *really* enjoy Dante. Smiling

MeiLin's picture

that's true!

or would be, but for my theory that JB is actually a thought-controlling sexy alien with extreme pheromonal technology. Laughing out loud

And John Ciardi's translation of Dante is especially readable, my favorite. I've got it around here somewhere...*rummage rummage*...

MeiLin's picture

my not that secret vice

I LOVE reality shows. Well, not all of them, just some of them:
Mythbusters
American Gladiators (I mean, REALLY, what's not to love, what a stupid show!)
Dancing with the Stars
America's Got Talent (jaw-dropping)
House Hunters
Iron Chef America and Japan
Hell's Kitchen
Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmare
No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain

...and I'm pretty sure I'm going to like the Takeshi's Castle/MXC knock off ABC's doing this summer, because I love MXC. Right you are, Kenny!

Swedgin's picture

But will ABC's knock-off have

But will ABC's knock-off have all the great snark and innuendo? Sinkers and Floaters? Meat Curtains? Back to you, Vic.

MeiLin's picture

doubtful

But I'd settle for regular appearances by the Babaghanouj family. I'm also really hoping they have a Guy LeDouche. And a Captain Tennile. But I'm not hopeful.

Swedgin's picture

Tragic

Cuz, really, MXC minus Captain Tenille, The Babaghanouji, or Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano is really just a mix between Jackass and Double Dare. Sort of amusing, but not likely to compete for time on my DVR.

MeiLin's picture

I'm giving it one shot

If I don't get even one LOL from it, I won't bother again. I'll just stick with the original.

Trystia's picture

Even 'junk food' like hot

Even 'junk food' like hot dogs and hamburgers have a lot of variety. There's the McDonald's variety of a lot of stories found on the web, but then there's the sort made with ground and marinated sirloin, with gorgonzola cheese and gourmet buns. Yes, this is a bit of an indulgence, but if I read nothing but stuff on a level with the works of Frank Herbert or Tolkien, my brain would eventually explode. It's nice to occasionally read a fun story that's well written, with an engaging plot, that isn't trying to be so deep that you have to re-read it a dozen times just to realize you still didn't get all the meaning out of it.

But that's just my three cents. (Two cents aren't worth enough anymore, what with inflation and all.)

V's picture

The reviewer

clearly has an inflated view of their own knowledge and taste. They're applying the rules they were taught to try and feel superior, and love to be in the position of passing judgement on others.

See, thing is...even they would seem to admit, via their analogy, that the story is pleasant to read and quite addicting. But now I'll point out that it has exactly the same calories as any other piece of literature, and no more saturated fat. The review is only negative if you wish to view yourself as a snob looking down on the clueless masses.

I'm a philistine but a happy one. Fuck'm. Smiling

P.S. Love the default icon and the story behind it.

MeiLin's picture

I'm not going to be everyone's storyteller

That's clear, and that's to be expected, and I'm totally okay with that. What amazes me are people that sneer like that--and then keep reading! It's like, okay, I'm beneath you, I suck, I get it! That's fine, honest. But. Why are you still here? Puzzled Truthfully, it cracks me up. Hence the Cheez-it.

TheBoy's picture

no such thing.

No author is everyone's author.
In any art, really, no artist can be everyone's.

Sharkinabox's picture

Unless you happen to believe

Unless you happen to believe in an omnipotent omniscient omnibenevolent god. In which you might consider him to be such an artist. I don't happen to hold the belief, but what they hey... have been starting to doubt myself there of late.

Kaisar Ryu's picture

Not an agument

so please don't take it as one and start a massive discussion of this urbane comment. however, history (and almost every religious leader, though not the works they teach from) show that even the omni-beings of legend didn't work well for everyone.

Kunama's picture

Still reading?

Maybe it is hoping for some reason to write a better review. Or perhaps it is boredly curious. I find myself hanging around webcomics that aren't really all that great, but they do have something new every day or so that keeps me there.

On an unrelated side note, all the cheez-its make me think the same person is posting multiple times. (Didn't even know what a cheez-it was until today.) All you junk food iconers need to get something less default Sticking out tongue

sarianna's picture

making me hungry!!

The worst bit is, I have a half-full box of Cheez-Its next to me on the couch, sort of in self-bribery for paper-writing. So tasty. And reduced fat!
...dangit, seeing these userpics makes me hungry! ;P

MeiLin's picture

alas

I am celiac, so no cheez-its for me of any fat content. And I confess: I love cheez-its, and their close relation, goldfish crackers. Gods, I love goldfish crackers. No more for me. sob.

I do intend to broaden the choices for default icons soon, but if you're registered, please just upload one. Smiling

Trystia's picture

Poor MeiLin

You have to be on a gluten-free diet for life? No cheez-its or proper reuben sammiches ever? Sad That must be a horrible fate, especially if diagnosed late in life after already discovering the joys of all those foods. On the other hand, since I was curious about common alternatives in a gluten-free diet, I took a look, and the first grain listed was amaranth...

MeiLin's picture

about six months ago

And I can eat gluten if I want, it just makes me miserable. So I choose to avoid contamination as much as possible. Luckily, I'm not alone; many more people have some form of gluten sensitivity than anyone ever realized, and so gluten-free products are really blossoming.

And yes, we eat amaranth regularly. hee. Though we prefer quinoa.

Trystia's picture

I'm sorry...

But, "yes, we eat amaranth regularly" made me fall off my bed laughing. I really need to get my mind out of the gutter, I'm so bad about things like that sometimes.

MeiLin's picture

Well

Barley has gluten, after all. Eye-wink

teehee's picture

/nods

*Appropriate* Smiling

Moo's picture

Ahhh! Cute courtship

and steamy sex two days after I had to say goodbye to my boy for a month and a half. Sad You just had to make me miss him more, didn't you?

I once gave a speech to my entire high school regarding the various interpretations of 42 as the answer to life, the universe and everything. Love was in there, but not the consummation of it. I don't think it would have been allowed.

Daymon's picture

Smoking...

Well that's one way to say your sorry, I am sure Warin didn't mind to much. That's when you know you had good sex, when your legs can barely hold you up and feel good about it.

I will be a little sad not to see Warin and Emmae any more, but I am sure the next story that Temmin learns from should be interesting also.

Trystia's picture

Not Forgotten

I'm sure that, in a way, we'll still see them. Their story will have an influence on Temmin, and who knows, there may even be a few themes reminiscent of the tale. We'll have to see where the story goes...

QUARK33's picture

temmin the goof

i find that temmin and his interactions with others feel older than his given age , but conversely we also find the technology and customs both younger and older than related times, and i find it a unique part of your writing. i love the way temmin fights a situation yet ends up somehow figuring out the best answer one way or another. any way screw the critics, love the fans and always make yourself happy with what you do. Eye-wink

V's picture

Missed a capital 'I'

Just trying to keep it out of the print version Smiling
"her every taste, smell and sound. if he were very quiet,"

Donna's picture

Lit-Ra-Ture

I wrote an article on my blog (http://fantasticalimagination.wordpress.com/2008/05/23/literary-fiction-...) about the whole pretentiousness of literary fiction and lit-ra-ture. From what it sounded like, the reviewer wanted nothing more to prove how big her brain was, show that she'd learned something in class and exert it over the "unwashed" masses. Yeah, I have a degree in English too and I'm not sneering at works "beneath" canon. I write YA fantasy. Are you kidding? I think my English professors would plotz. *le gasp* Genre? Not . . . the bastard child of lit-ra-ture!!! Give me a break.

That's not to say canon should be ignored, nor should literary works. I would recommend Flannery O'Connor to anyone that listed simply because she's a demented broad and I love her writing. The way I see it, constantly live in the canon and you miss the canon of today. Like what's been said, only time will tell. Tolkien is considered canon considering how long his works have lasted but it's still snubbed because it's genre. From that review, though, it sounds like she's into naval gazing and literary masturbation if you ask me. I'll leave her be to ponder the contents of her belly button fuzz. I like plot and, you know, interestingness with my stories.

Pretension in the literary world is rampant. I just ignore it. Personally I'd rather have a big fat royalty statement than the arrogant noddings of some dudes with suede elbows any day.

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