Marks and the Lack Thereof

Eddinday, the 2nd day of Spring's End

Temmin was dreaming. He was chasing Allis down the railroad tracks from Whithorse to the capital, but no matter how fast he ran, she was always ahead of him, just out of arm's reach; she'd turn back, laughing, and keep running. They ran tirelessly along the railroad tracks, through the gardens of the Temple, along the paths in the King's Woods where they'd ridden not long ago, past the Inchari folly by the cedar grove. She ran into the Keep, not through the mudroom door that he preferred but through its great entrance, and slammed the doors behind her. When Temmin reached it he threw the doors open, but instead of Allis, there stood Teacher, eyes cold.

He woke with a start.

"Temmin?" came a soft voice. A woman's face appeared over him. Neya? No. Allis.

"It's you, isn't it," he said. "She's gone?" Allis nodded and nestled back down where she had been sleeping in the crook of his left arm. On his other side, Issak stirred in his sleep.

"Did you have a bad dream?" murmured Allis.

Temmin blinked, looking up at the ceiling. "I don't know. What time is it?"

"It's morning, but I don't know how late. They'll leave us alone until we call for them. We usually sleep quite late the day after."

They lay together in silence, Temmin stroking her black hair and thinking. "Allis," he finally said, "why didn't you tell me it'd be Neya, and not you?"

She sighed and snuggled a little closer. "I'm sorry. I would have if I could have. But I can't tell anyone about anything that happens when They're here. You can't, either."

"I can talk about it with you, you were there."

"Some of it we can talk about, the parts that I know."

"What parts don't you know? She said you were there," he said, puzzled.

Allis sat up, turned so that she half-rested on his chest, and tucked his hair behind his ear. "She showed you things, didn't She?" He nodded. "All right, then, tell me what She showed you."

"I thought I wasn't supposed to."

"Just try."

Temmin thought about what he had seen--his father and Jenks at war, his sisters and mother in danger, the Teacher and the Traveler Queen--but when he opened his mouth, his throat closed. No sound came out. No matter how he tried, what words he tried to form, he couldn't even squeak until he gave up the attempt entirely. "Is it a spell?"

"No," she said, laying her head over his heart. "It's a command from the Gods. They enforce it Themselves. I didn't see what She showed you, so we can never talk about it. You won't be able to talk about it with anyone but the Gods Themselves."

Temmin pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head absently, deep in thought. For the first time, he wished for the Teacher; he longed for insight on the visions Neya had shown him, and he felt sure the Teacher could have given it. "Now that I've met Them, I'm not sure I like these Gods, Allis."

She laughed, and he felt her voice lightly reverberate in his chest. "They don't care if you do or not. But you do love Them. You know Them now, you have no choice but to love Them."

"I love who I please," he said, frowning though he knew she was right; the Gods were firmly in his heart.

"False bravado is unbecoming, Temmin."

"I don't love Her, I love you." Allis fell so quiet that for a moment Temmin wondered if she'd fallen back asleep--or worse, that he'd made some horrible mistake. "Allis?"

"You don't love me, Temmin," she said quietly. "You think you do, but you don't. I'm the first girl you've had sex with. Most young men mistake that feeling for love. It's all right."

"No, it's not all right," he said, turning to face her. "Allis, all of this--this stuff!--I went through it for you, to be with you. I'm not 'most young men'!"

"No," said Allis with a smile, "you most certainly are not. For one thing, you're adorable when you're serious."

"I really, really hate it when you call me 'adorable.'"

"Temmin," she said, cupping his face gently, "I'm not belittling what you're feeling. But I won't be surprised if you don't feel it forever, or even next spoke. Last night was the beginning of an important aspect of a man's life--"

"Last night was the beginning of something, but it wasn't the beginning of my time with you," he said fiercely. "She isn't you."

"No, She isn't." Allis rose from the bed and turned away. On her left hip, he saw the same small glowing mark that he'd seen on Issak.

"Allis, wait--do you and Issak have birthmarks on your left hip?"

"No, of course not," she said as she pulled on a fresh set of Temple garb.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting dressed. We need to eat," Allis said firmly. "Last night took a great deal out of all three of us."

Temmin sat up and ruffled his already-messy hair, just as his stomach let out a loud grumble. "If that's not a birthmark, what is it?" he asked, pique forgotten.

She tugged on a bellrope. "What's what?"

"There's a little glowy thing on your hip."

Allis turned and looked at him closely. "Which one?"

"Your left one. Issak has one in the same place."

"He can see them," said Issak quietly from the bed.

"Oh! G'morning, Issak! Say, how long have you been awake?" Temmin added suspiciously.

"Long enough. Allis, he can see our marks."

Allis crossed back to the bed and sat down just out of reach. "When did you first see them?"

"Last night," Temmin answered. "I saw Issak's. I thought maybe I was seeing things, I got a little too close to the incense. I didn't notice yours till this morning."

"You shouldn't be able to see them," said Issak, standing up. The mark on his hip was still there, small but clear.

"I shouldn't be able to see Teacher when he's spying on me through a mirror, either, but I can."

"Temmin, we can't even see our own marks," said Allis.

"What are they for, anyway? Oh, wait--" He finally remembered the story of Emmae. "Are they--did the Traveler Queen make them?"

Issak nodded slowly. "She gives them to the Embodiments at the beginning of their terms." He turned and began pulling on his clothes.

"The one I know about wore off over time," said Temmin.

"Not ours," said Allis, shaking her head. "We'll never have children, either of us, unless we pay her to remove the marks when we're through here. And by that time, we'll be too old to want children. Anda and Bessa have them too, but theirs is the kind that fades over time. They'll be fertile again about a year after their time here ends. Part of their Supplicant fees went to the Traveler Queen to pay for their marks."

The twins were fully dressed; Temmin finally got up and started pulling on his own garb. "Why didn't I get one?"

"You're different. You're the Heir," said Allis. "You can't ever receive a mark like that. I'm not exactly sure why."

"So does everyone here have a mark?" asked Temmin, just as Senik arrived with coffee.

"Mark?" snorted the postulant. "Only the ones of us from rich families. The rest of us make do or do without. Good morning, by the way! I see you didn't get fucked to death!"

"Apparently not," said Temmin sourly as he took a cup from Senik's hands. "I will get you back for that."

Senik caught his hand and kissed it. "Forgive me. As a humble servant of Nerr, It's my only amusement on Neya's Day."

Allis laughed. "I doubt that very much! Go back to the kitchens, you poor unamused boy, and get us something to eat."

"A great deal of something!" called Issak at Senik's retreating back. "We'll take it in the Supplicant's Chamber!"

A great deal of something appeared in that room not long after, along with Temmin and the twins. Anda and Bessa were still in bed in a tangled heap; once untangled it proved to contain both girls, two Lovers, a Beloved and a very confused (but happy) apprentice chandler. The Lovers and Beloved carted the apprentice chandler off to the baths and dining hall, and left the five friends to their brunch.

In a fashionable townhouse in the capital, Twenna Shelstone got out of bed, pulled on a wrap and rang for her maid. "Coffee, please, and draw my bath," she said, and the maid curtseyed and hurried off.

Twenna sat at her mirror, studying her face. She looked haggard this morning. Not enough sleep, perhaps. Who could sleep after last night? Harsin and Ansella leaving like that--she knew the look on the king's face very, very intimately, and it had been for the queen, not for her. What could it mean for her, this renewal of intimacy between them? Nothing good.

And then to be singled out last night by Nerr! Elbig had demanded to know what the God had said, but she couldn't seem to answer. And what did He mean, anyway? "This won't hurt"--as if she were afraid of a kiss!

"Your bath is ready, ma'am," said the maid.

Twenna stood up and slipped off her wrap as she walked into the bathroom. If there had been anyone there who had the sight, he would have noted this: Where there had once been a glowing silver mark on Twenna Shelstone's hip, there was now nothing but a mole.