fur(real)babies...

While we are brining up all of the fun things about ourselves, what about kidlins? Their like furbabies but you can't put them in a kennel when their naughty or leave them home by themselves all day.

But, they love you more, and at least show it while they are young, and stay with you longer. Sometimes too long.

Forums: 
NorthwoodsMan's picture

Embodiment

So, I myself, married, have two daughters. The youngest is two going on twelve. Always into everything and letting everyone know how it's going to be. The eldest will be five in a couple weeks and we are trying to plan her first birthday party. That in and of itself is enough of a challenge that I can't wait to see how the actual party will go. She is in pre-school and can't wait for kindergarten next year.

MeiLin's picture

Most High

No1 Daughter, who seems to be on track to becoming a mangaka and who squees with me over Red String. She's 11-ish and almost as tall as her mama, which ain't hard.

No2 Daughter--I don't know where she came from. A says it's No2's first incarnation on earth; she usually incarnates somewhere in the Pleiades. She's 8-ish.

Tigger's picture

Supplicant

I have furbabies, but no real babies. We...can't. Anyone who wants more details, ask. Otherwise, I'll leave it at that. I'm not bothered with talking about it, but I tend to get very passionate and worked up, and sometimes it's just better left to those who want to know.

I do, however, have two nephews (ages 19 and 15), a niece (age 7, I think) and two godchildren (ages 3 and 1). The nephews are in NV, the niece in MO, and the godchildren are two miles away. Smile

fairnymph's picture

Embodiment

Since you hinted that the reasons are not the usual ones, I'm curious. Why can't you have children?

I desperately want children but have none. I am a widow, and I have had more than one abortion.

blwinteler's picture

Supplicant

I am also curious as to the reasons.
Also, where in NV are your God-children? I'm in Henderson (a block away from Vegas, but somehow nicer than Vegas in my opinion).

Tigger's picture

Supplicant

(only because I will attempt to be not all ranty and worked up)

Husband and I got together six years ago. We got married about 9 months later (odd timing, I know) and 4 months later decided to start attempting to get pregnant. The women in my family have a history of taking a while to get pregnant, while the men in his family have a history of being able to get women pregnant by hanging their pants on the door. We figured it would take us about two years, given those circumstances. Hence...not too worried. Until I had what was deemed a "chemical pregnancy"...or a really early m/c.

In desperate need of information to find out what happened, I embarked on a four year journey of research, study, doctors, and one IUI treatment. While I am perfect on paper, the husband is not. His boys...swim in circles. Those that manage to live, that is. He has a lot of sperm, and over half of them are living, but only about 5% of them are the right shape. So they don't really go where they need to and, should they manage to reach their destination, don't really have the right proportions to be able to burrow their way into the egg.

Four years of taking my temperature every day at 6am, ovulation tests for a few days to a week every month, sex-marathons once a month, and then devastation when my period showed up really took it's toll. Two years ago we did our one and only infertility treatment and I couldn't handle it. Not the treatment itself - that was fine - but putting so much hope into one thing was too much for me. When it didn't work, I quit. I've spent the past two years of the four year journey coming to grips with not being able to have children, with having to live childfree not by choice.

There is a lot more than what I've written. Things that have happened along the way, the emotional roller-coaster that life was/is, the assvice that is given (things you should never, ever say to people trying to get pregnant). Things are still a work in progress - about the time I think I'm ok, something happens and I get that "sucker punch" feeling in the pit of my stomach. But...yeah. This gives you a general idea.

And bl - my nephews are in Spring Creek, near Elko. My god-children live two miles down the street from me, here in Boise.

MeiLin's picture

Most High

We lost two babies before No1. I thought my heart would break, and we were resigned to be childless. No1 was a surprise--a very wanted one, but a surprise. Same with No2. (I'm not saying, "Oh, just relax. It'll happen." Please believe that. I'm saying I've felt a fraction of that pain. My best to you.)

fairnymph's picture

Embodiment

My mom went through something similar (my legal dad turned out to be sterile, or have immobile sperm, rather) and then I was created by artificial insemination, using a friend of hers as a donor. I hope that whatever happens, your situation and happiness improve. I honestly cannot imagine anything worse than your scenario and I'm horrified (though not shocked) that people have been less than sensitive to it.

Tigger's picture

Supplicant

Assvice is often intended to be helpful, but often ends up hurting instead. I wrote a 14-page report on infertility for my English 102 class, and then let my mom read it. She was astounded...and horribly upset that she had said some of the things I talked about, and had hurt me when she didn't intend to. I have finally reached the point where I no longer "go off" on people who say stuff, but try to remember that they're trying to be helpful. Doesn't mean I don't get seriously pissed, and I'm sure it shows on my face, but at least I can keep my mouth shut now (a feat in and of itself!). }:)

We contemplated donor sperm, but I don't think it's the right path for us. I have friends who have taken that road and it's worked wonderfully for them - same with adoption, and donor eggs. But for us - no. My best friend offered to be a surrogate for me, even though pregnancies are hell on her. Maybe some day, when I'm older... HA! At this point, we're mostly content with our life the way it is. We've gotten used to it being just us and the aminals, free to go where we want, when we want, and do whatever we want.

Mei - thank you. It is always good to know that there are others out there who've been here. Sucks that there are others, but good to know that one is not alone. I belong to the ALI (adoption/loss/infertility) blogworld, but I feel disconnected these days.

bl - no problem. I have a hard time keeping track of where they all are too!!

The Vixen's picture

Devotee

Just out of curiosity, where do you stand on the possibilities of you adopting? I just wonder because I actually plan on adopting even if I am able to have my own kids. I suppose I am just a big fan of it, so I tend to be very biased, but I'm always curious as to how other people view it, especially when their actually in the situation, not just speculating about something that's years down the road.

I really hope that sounds objective enough, I'm trying not to make it sound like I'm going to judge the answer you give, but the internet has a lovely way of making everything sound worse than it's intended.

TheBoy's picture

Embodiment

don't let BlueCoyote hear you... Wink

Blue Coyote's picture

Devotee

I'm sure that they would never tell their adopted child that "they should have kept the reciept" when they misbehave. Or how much better the actual real child is than you. Or throw the adopted kid out on the street when they turn out to be a freak. Or tell them that they deserved to be raped. Or that their birth mother was a whore and how you're lucky that she didn't throw you in a dumpster. I'm sure that they won't be sure to tell the adopted child every day how they are a bastard and should be so utterly grateful that they took you in.
I surely hope that very few adoptions are like mine.
But I don't appreciate your constant digs. My life has been hell, a hell I don't care to discuss with you because you will only disbelieve and make fun of it. This stuff dosen't just happen in third world countries, it happens in America. It dosen't just happen to me, it happens more than anyone cares to admit. One of my partners works at Planned Parenthood and I could tell you stories that would make even you want to castrate someone. For example- a girl/woman brings in her two month old baby girl for this aweful diaper rash that won't go away, turns out that it is herpes- her boyfriend has been raping her baby daughter since she brought her back from the hospital.
So yeah, I'd like to believe that complete strangers would take good care of a baby not their own... but then I can't seem to stop reading the newspaper. There was a story last month of a 17-year old mother who left her 18-month old son in a bouncy-swing where he was eaten alive by the family dog while she slept in the other room stoned out on drugs and never woke up til her grandmother found what was left and screamed her awake.

TheBoy's picture

Embodiment

I had gotten the impression that you were opposed to adoption from both sides, rather than the bulk of your opposition being to giving a child up for adoption.

I'm hard-pressed to appreciate what I've said so much that becomes my "constant digs," either--I certainly don't intend to pick on you--though I try to engage your arguments, as I do with many people here.

I'm truly sorry that I gave such offense.

Tigger's picture

Supplicant

that the title was NOT directed at me. In case it was:

I'm fully aware that fucked up adoptions happen. Way more often than they should, which would be "if it happened once, it's too many times". My ex-husband was adopted by two alcoholics and his father beat his mother and him. But..BUT. Would this have happened if he HADN'T been adopted, but instead born to them? Quite likely. The people who adopted you would quite likely have treated any biological child that they had as pure shit too. The difference is that they had far more painful "weapons" to throw at you because you were adopted than they would at a child of their own flesh and blood. How many people do you know whose parents told them "I knew I should have aborted you"?

People don't take care of their OWN children, coyote. People abuse and throw away their own chilren. They put them in dumpsters, microwaves, cars with the engines running. With adoption, there is at least an option for a little while to "give the child back". If you adopt a child and a few months in, it's simply not working, you can call the agency and they will take the child back. I have friends who have had to do this, because the child they got was not an infant, had issues, and they couldn't be resolved. They didn't want to cause the child more harm by having him live with a family in which he didn't fit, so instead of doing that, they called the agency. They loved the little boy, but knew that they were NOT the right family for him.

To me it appears as if you are letting your own adoption story color every other story you hear. I can understand how that would work - our experiences color everything we do/think/see/feel. But if you think it happens more to adopted children than to biological children, you need to get outside your own head, take a step back, and really look at things. Not all adoptions are horrible, and not everyone should be a parent.

TheBoy's picture

Embodiment

I'm pretty sure it was directed at me.

Tigger's picture

Supplicant

being a shit-stirred, boy? Smile I get the feeling that's what you like to do. I picture you sitting at your desk, pondering the best way to create havoc, and then sitting back to wait for the responses to roll in while cackling madly and rubbing your hands together. Smile How far off am I?

TheBoy's picture

Embodiment

Way off. Generally, I like to tease. I don't use a desk--I laptop from the bed, mostly. I definitely don't cackle--I rarely laugh out loud from stuff I read or think. If my teasing stirs some shit...que sera sera. I have big feet--sometimes I step on toes.

In this particular case, I -am- pretty confident that the angry response was directed at me. I wanted to reassure others that it wasn't them. That particular post had no shit-stirring intent at all.

Tigger's picture

Supplicant

Ok, so most of my response to you was tongue-in-cheek, an attempt to lighten stuff. I failed. Sad I blame it on sleep dep!

TheBoy's picture

Embodiment

should've seen that. internet's funny--pure text is hard to find a sense of humor sometimes.

Tigger's picture

Supplicant

Many things are hard to convey in pure text. Smilies are useful, but don't always cut it. Plus? Sometimes they just downright spoil the effect. There's no point in mocking someone, or being faux-serious, if I have to put a smiley with it - that takes all the fun ot!

Cheez-It's picture

Oh no, that was the very worst of it. They only adopted me because they "couldn't have kids". But after a few years they suddenly did concieve and had a son. Son son sunny son, son of God, miricle come to life... he shit solid gold and pissed champagne. My entire life was in is shadow being showed constantly how unwanted I was (also should be noted that the untrasound showed me as a boy- which is what they wanted and were expecting- oh what a disappointing shock when I was born a wretched useless female). Even when he opened his X-mas presents as fast as he could and I opened mine as slowly as possible to make it last we speant most of the afternoon watching the golden boy open pressies. I could go on...
How about the year he got a brand new personal computer for X-mas when I got a bean-bag chair? Or that I'm freakishly midget short, and dark and mixed-blooded while the adopted family are all tall and golden like Aryan nation poster-family? Yeah issues, I haz dem.

amiciaN's picture

Petitioner

I know you were asking about people who are planning on adopting, but I wanted to add my two cents.

To any and all adoptive parents, please don't teach your precious "chosen" children that their mothers didn't want or love them. I am a birth mother and while it may be true in some cases, it certainly wasn't true for me. I gave birth to my only daughter when I was barely 16 and knew I couldn't give her any kind of decent life, so I went through a private agency and picked what I still pray was a loving set of parents for a child I loved too much to put through the hell that would have been her life. Even after 32 years and raising wonderful sons, it still feels like my heart is being ripped out when I think of my daughter possibly believing I didn't "want" her or love her. I felt, and still feel, like keeping my daughter in the circumstances I was in at the time would have been horribly selfish. I didn't give my precious little girl up because I didn't love her; I gave her up because I did.

Tigger's picture

Supplicant

I think it's a horrible thing to teach children that their birth-parents didn't want them. It's hard enough to be an adopted child and have those thoughts on your own, I imagine, without that being reinforced.

As for where I stand: Right now it's not an option for us. I"m not sure it will ever be an option, simply because if we had the $18K it would cost us to go through the adoption process to start with, I'd probably take my chances on IVF. On the other hand, I'm simply not willing to pay that kind of money at a CHANCE to have a child. I realize that all pregnancy is a chance, but having to pay $18K for that chance is just not worth it to me.

I think adoption is an absolutely fantastic thing for those that it works for. I DO wish that it was as easy to adopt from the States as it is overseas - it's cheaper from there, at the very least. Infertility is a multi-billion dollar industry, and adoption goes along with it. It bothers me, on several levels, that people are essentially profiting from someone's desire to have a child - something that everyone should have the ability to do. I know my sentences aren't conveying what I'm trying to say - my brain has left my body for the day, it appears. If what i'm trying to say isn't clear, i'll try again tomorrow.

Capriox's picture

Embodiment

You what drives me crazy? When I mention possibly adopting (haven't tried for kids yet, not sure if I want them, but if I do, I'm not sure I want to deal with pregnancy/labor shit when there are kids that need homes already), and someone tells me "oh, but it isn't the same as having your own" or even "of course you'll love them, but you can't/won't love them the same as you would your own."

WTF????? Sure it isn't the same, but I'm pretty sure that *every* child is different to have and to love, regardless of method of arrival into the home. Certainly not "Mommy doesn't love you like she would if she'd given birth to you"...!!

Three out of my seven cousins are adopted. I hope they never hear someone spouting that kind of BS.

Of course, the people who say that kind of thing are probably the same ones giving 'assvice' about infertility :rolls eyes:

And Tigger, I just wanted so that I think it's very generous/brave of you to share the details with all of us.

The Vixen's picture

Devotee

I agree whole-heartedly with everything previously stated. And as a step-child I hate it when step-parents act the same way.

It hurts me how adoption is treated in this country as well. I could rant, but you all probably have heard it before, and I bet Tigger would know exactly what I'm talking about.

I thought that if one paid for adoption that one was guaranteed 'a child'. I know this doesn't prevent the pain and disappointment that comes from a mother changing her mind (I just think it's cruel when a mother changes her mind after the child is born, but I'm not sure how often that really happens, just seems to happen a lot on TV shows). One of the reasons I never plan to adopt a newborn (that and I'll enjoy skipping the "sleeps all the time" part of baby rearing). But I always thought it was more of a guarantee than IVF. I can't possibly imagine going through spending all that money and getting absolutely nothing to show for it. I praise your courage for going through that even once.

I really do hope... well I wish you happiness basically. Words seem to just muddle the basic concept that is what I'm thinking right now.
Me - want - you - happyhappy.

Tigger's picture

Supplicant

There is a lot of paperwork that has to be done first. Home studies, to make sure the child isn't being adopted into a bad home. This isn't foolproof, as everyone knows. If you want a child bad enough, you'll clean yourself and your surroundings up to fool the agencies. Even after you pass the home study and all the paperwork (which takes a long time and costs lots of $$), you are then placed on a waiting list. Depending on how specific you are in what you're looking for (some people have a girl and want a boy, or vice versa, while some are looking at specific countries. Others want a child with a disability because they're willing to take on that responsibility, while others don't feel prepped and don't want a disabled child. And then there's religion to add in.), that waiting list can be 6 months to 4 years or more. In some adoptions, the birth mother will want to meet up with the prospective adoptive parents, to see if she likes where her child will be going. That means more interviews, more travel, more potential heartbreak because you don't get chosen. It's a heartbreak-ridden road to take and I applaud those who take it (even when I do think they're nuts for putting themselves through it!).

IUI (the treatment I did) was not as expensive as IVF is. My IUI cost us about $1500 - but that doesn't include all the testing and meds and stuff just to get us to the "time to do a treatment" stage. That's just the cost of meds, testing, ultra-sounds and the insemination itself. A single round of IVF, though, costs about $12K...and that doesn't include the stuff to get to that point either. I have friends who have undergone 6-7 rounds. My mother had a friend who was $100K in debt before she had her twins...but she counts it worth it. I...couldn't. I'm afraid I would resent the child later on, when that debt was preventing us from doing a lot of things. I'm pretty sure it's a worthless worry, but I worry by nature. I also don't think I could handle going through a round of IVF, not having it work, and having to write a check to the RE's office for 15 years to pay it off...and not have a child to show.

So in it's way, adoption can be more of a guarantee - but it's a long ways down the road. It's a path for those who are patient, which is something I am not.

Tigger's picture

Supplicant

not for our own selves, but for our families. And then? We realized the wonderful families that we come from, and how it wouldn't be an issue, and how I could just disown them if it was. Smile

Granted, adopting is NOT the same as having your own. Why? Because some people are terribly focused on the biological link aspect of things. Your adopted child is likely to have some issues that are unique to children who are adopted. There might be problems with the medical history. But you know what? None of it matters a whit. I'm not adopted, but my medical history is all wonked and no one knows where I get them. I look exactly like my mother, but that isn't always a blessing. My sister doesn't look like any of us, and THAT'S not always a blessing either! I think the people who say things like "of course you'll love them, but you can't/won't love them the same as you would your own" are the same people who had no trouble getting pregnant and have never even considered (TRULY considered) the idea that they would have to adopt a child. They're hung up on the link, the blood. They are the assvice ones who say things like "just relax-you're trying too hard", "you just need to adopt, then you'll get pregnant", "you just need to get drunk and have sex in the backseat of a car - it works for teenagers, you know" or my father-in-laws' personal favorite "you just need to flip over - you're doing it wrong!" (I always see that one coming out of his mouth in internet speak "UR DOIN' IT RONG!" As for me? I just want someone to share my mother's ideals with - be it my bio child, someone else's bio child that is now mine, or my god-children.

And thanks, Capri. It's not hard for me to share the details most of the time these days. I like being able to teach others about this stuff, make those who've never contemplated the idea that the might not be able to have kids even if they want them realize that it happens - more often than they know. I could type for hours, pouring out information and stats and help and options/ideas/theories. It makes people uncomfortable though - no one wants to think that they might not be able to get pregnant. It's a societal defect, you know. But because I can go for hours, I try not to. If someone has a question or wants more details, I'm more than happy to share anything they want to know. If they want someone to commiserate with, here I am. Smile

kawaiikune's picture

Embodiment

I totally agree. I might not want to have my own kids someday, and there are other, perfectly good kids out there, just hoping that some loving family will come and adopt them (or if they're not old enough to think about that yet, they will someday if no one adopts them). I also really like kids (as a subset of really liking people), but I'm not crazy about infants (the whole pooping/crying/puking thing....idk how I feel about that). Everyone seems to think I'm crazy...but labor and pregnancy don't seem like that much fun to me...and I think I would love the kid just the same no matter whose vagina it came out of.
Maybe I'll get a little older and I'll catch the baby bug and really really want to be pregnant for some reason, but right now I think adopting would be really cool. I had no idea it was so expensive, though.

Good luck with your situation. I hope you find some solution that works well for you.

V's picture

Embodiment

And I'll try to sensitive about this--no hurt nor harm intended, but it's an area I'm honestly not too familiar with.

Did you leave your child any way to contact you if they wished? If not, did you feel it would be unfair to the birth parents? Did you give your birth parents your contact info as an option? Are there options where you could leave a letter for your child at age XX, etc? I say this because some adopted children have trouble dealing with such a large unknown. I know some who have tried to research their birth parents but found the records sealed...I'm not sure if this is the default, something the birth parent can request, or just what it might indicate.

Tigger's picture

Supplicant

but I DO have info on this. I have a friend who has given her child up for adoption, and an ex-husband who IS adopted, and both areas are covered.

The friend who gave hers up for adoption did so because she was pregnant at a time when she couldn't take care of her child. She wanted it, but it wasn't the best life for him. She arranged for an "open adoption". That's the one where the birth parents and biological parent(s) know each other, can keep in contact, exchange cards and presents, etc. There are even some where the birth parents are involved in the childs' life - "aunt" or "uncle" whatever. It really depends on the birth parent and the adoptive parent. Sometimes it's too painful on either side, although the choice IS the bio parents', I believe. If, as an adoptive parent, you don't want ties to the bio parents, then the agency isn't going to match you up with a bio parents who wants to be updated. Open adoptions are becoming more common, I think.

My ex, however, was the product of a teenage pregnancy at the time when such things were very hushed. He has wanted to find his birth mother for years, but all he knows about her is that she was 16, they lived in CA, and the "dad" had black hair and ran off. That's it. It's hard for him, because he wants to know. He wants to know who they were, does he have siblings, what can he expect as he gets older, that sort of thing. Some bio parents give their children up and want nothing to do with them, or fear that the child will come find them at some point and ruin their lives. For some it's just too painful - they had to give that child up, and while they always have the mental reminder, the physical reminder can be too hard for them. And then there's the resentment that the child might have at being given up.

amiciaN's picture

Petitioner

I've been thinking about how to reply to this for three days; it stirs up a lot of emotions, most of them unpleasant. Please don't feel guilty for asking your questions though! I knew that by replying in the first place I was opening myself to that sort of thing and I was and am willing to deal with it. It just took a bit more time to do it than I expected and I needed to process those emotions before replying.

No, I did not leave my daughter a letter. I gave my daughter up in 1976. At that time, adoption records in my state were "permanently" sealed, even though I went through a private agency rather than the state welfare department. I did try to leave a letter but I was told it was not allowed and the case worker did not even read the letter. At the time, many adopted children were not even told they were adopted (telling someone that they had been adopted was a common playground insult).

These days, there are registries where I could sign up, but I haven't done so. I'm not quite sure why I haven't, other than fear. I know of at least one adoptee who actively hates his birth mother and frankly, facing that kind of hate from my daughter is not something I am willing to seek out. Perhaps that makes me a coward, but I've finally found happiness and peace in my life at my Master's side. Without going into irrelevant details, suffice it to say that getting here was a life-long and difficult journey and I guard my relationship with a level of fierceness that sometimes surprises even my Master.

That should NOT be taken to mean that I would reject my daughter, should she find me, even if she does hate me. I'm sure she has had her own issues to deal with and if meeting me would resolve those for her, I'm willing to do that should she locate me. On the other hand, she may have dealt with those issues another way and I will not "disturb" her life by trying to seek her out.

Forgive me for rambling, but even after almost 33 years, the emotions aroused by this issue are difficult and confusing. I hope I've at least answered your questions. I think I've said all that I'm willing to say publicly, but please, feel free to message me privately if you would like to explore this issue further.

MeiLin's picture

Most High

Your path was a hard one. Sad

V's picture

Embodiment

*hug* I know more now than I did before. And I'm pretty sure I'm a better person for it Smile Hang in there.

ETA: And rereading, I can see that I badly, repeatedly typo'd "birth parents" in my first post when, of course, I meant "adoptive parents"

amiciaN's picture

Petitioner

Your path hasn't been easy either and I have so much to be thankful for these days.

Climbing mountains is never easy, but I've reached the top and the view from here is spectacular! Biggrin

magalicious's picture

Postulant

I feel very lucky to have heard your story. Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us, and as V said, I know more than I did before.
Love.

Tigger's picture

Supplicant

(this got lost for me and I didn't see the replies)

You had a hard decision to make, and a hard path to follow. Kudos to you for being willing to go down it!

There is nothing that says you ever have to get in touch with your daughter. If you choose not to, so be it. It does not make you a coward, it makes you human. You talked about registries, and "disturbing" her life, and...well, this thought occurred to me. You could put your name there, and just leave it. You don't have to seek her out, and if she seeks you out...rely on your Master to help you. If I'm not mistaken, that's part of his role. It may be years and years before she finds you, she may never look for you, but if you put your name out there then at least she CAN, if she wants. It may be that she only wants to know that you exist. Perhaps one of the registries has a place where you could leave a letter for her - give her the details, as much as you want to share, and ask her to be patient with you if she contacts you because it's scary for you too.

Just my two cents. I can begin to imagine how difficult and scary it would be, but I know my imagination fails me terribly in times like these.

*HUGS*

The Vixen's picture

Devotee

We just talked about something that brought this up in the Woman's Jewish Learning group tonight.

You're not always related by blood to the most important members of your family. You're not related by blood to your spouse (at least one hopes not!), or brothers- and sisters-in-law, or best friends. But we love them as if we were right? So there is no reason that we can't love our adopted children as much as our biological children.

blwinteler's picture

Supplicant

Thanks for sharing. I'm sure that is very difficult.
Sorry about the mistake in my question. By the time I got to the part where I asked, I forgot which kids were in Nevada Smile

magalicious's picture

Postulant

And I'm happy with just them at this point in my life.

Biestygirl's picture

Petitioner

I get to have kids in a few years! My aunts and uncles have been having babies recently so I get to live vicariously through them until we get married and can afford babies.

My mom threatens to give me my little brother when he turns 13 (he's 10 this year, 10 1/2 years my junior). I wouldn't mind too much actually, it's just the boy-person wouldn't enjoy having his brother-in-law with us all the time!

The Vixen's picture

Devotee

None of my own, but I babysit/nanny quite often. Currently, I've got a 3yo (4 in May), and a 1yo (2 in June). It's great, cause I get to play with them, and teach them all sorts of neat stuff, and then I get to go home! And their parents are really great, we get along so well (which is the hardest part about nannying). The only thing that stinks is that they're a little lax on the disciplin, so him and I have to set up some special rules when I come over.

blwinteler's picture

Supplicant

A boy. Age 9. Too smart for our own good. Straight A student, in the Gifted and Talented Education program, tested as able to read at a post-high school level, on a bowling league, one of the most polite, well mannered kids around (according to teachers, doctors, waiters, and other parents. I think he forgets about it at home far too often), exhausting, but a great kid. Not having any more. Lots of reasons. But that is ok. I am happy with the one I have. Smile

TheFerret's picture

Devotee

#3 is "baking" right now. 9 days till we know boy or girl.
daughter #1 is 6, practicing to be 13. Daughter #2 is 3.5yrs and can't understand why she isn't in school, too.
#1 is the best kid ever (honest. until she's tired and at home, then she becomes a normal kid). She's a cleft baby with severe scoliosis - and way too familiar with "wake-up rooms" (surgery post-op). But she's still the best kid ever.

#2 is exactly like me (hooo boy, is that ever a joy ride). She just got over having "the flute" (flu) and likes to do magic tricks to make things sidappear. She makes me wonder how my mom ever raised me from a wheelchair. Sarcasm in a 3yr old....I'm thinking is not so good.

The Which's picture

Embodiment

I have one. She's almost two. Depending on the day, I might describe her as brilliant and loving, or obstinate and too smart for her own good.

Stormy's picture

Supplicant

A 4.5 year old geek-in-training (he's playing Wizard 101 on 'his' computer as I type this). We don't plan on having another--we considered adoption, but have mostly decided against (mainly due to the sheer cost of adopting and the cost of actually raising a kid). I will most likely be attempting to get pregnant by the end of this year to act as a surrogate for my best friend and his partner and I am frightened that my son will have been a fluke, so to speak, and that we will find out that getting pregnant again will be much more difficult, if not impossible. Luckily they have a second option (who is 5 years my junior) if I don't work out, but we have decided I am a much better fit, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Katie's picture

Embodiment

Took this picture of my oldest a couple months ago, and my mom went and put it on a digi-scrapbook page. Too. Freakin. Cool.

http://i263.photobucket.com/albums/ii151/katiet518/anna_punkcopy1.jpg

I have 2 kids and a third on the way. I'd -love- to adopt maybe an older kid a few years down the road, because I know I can provide a loving and stable home, but the way things are looking...-sigh-. Just don't know anymore. A lot of the adopted child testimonies on this forum make me question my abilities. =\

MeiLin's picture

Most High

I have several friends doing it right now. All three are open adoption. Two are going very well, one less so (but it's early). If you're interested in the topic, I strongly suggest you read my friend Dawn Friedman's blog, This Woman's Work. She is reporting from the trenches, and is just an amazing writer to boot. Plus also, an awesome woman.

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