Here's one that doesn't seem to have been much addressed:

Sex whilst a woman is menstruating; what do we think about it? Men, women, either, neither, both, Sir, Mei?

In all honesty, I'm not sure what I think. I'm not sure I'd like it if in the midst of my heaviest flow, because that would be messy, a bit awkward, and I think, (for me, at least,) a little painful. My significant other and I sort of accidentally experimented with this today; I'm on a new BC pill, and my "monthly gift" decided it would be helpful and appear about half a week early. It wasn't a problem during (we weren't aware of it,) but it seemed to unsettle him a little after. I apologized, (though it's not like it's particularly my *fault*, of course,) and he said it was totally fine, but he got quiet for a bit, so I know he was a little disquieted.

Do you enjoy sex during menstruation? If so, are there any special things you do? Do you avoid it entirely? What's the deal?

Forums: 
raecchi's picture

Devotee

This one depends a ton on my partner. It doesn't bother me, and I tend to be a bit more randy right before and just as my period's starting, so I'm usually all for it. I know it really creeps some guys (and girls, to be fair) out, but I just toss down a towel and make sure we shower after.

Admittedly, I've never had very heavy periods, and with my IUD, they're even lighter now. My current guy is possibly even less bothered by it than I am -- I tend to be a bit fussy about getting a mess on things that aren't us. (I go through a lot of towels. >.

There are a few benefits to it, at least for me. I tend to be in the mood more, as I said, and more relaxed. The sex helps with the cramps, if I'm having any. Best of all, it makes me feel like I'm still sexy in spite of the bloating, bad moods, mad craving of chocolate, etc., and I find myself rather proud of my guy for being so positive about it.

GreenGlass's picture

Supplicant

We don't have a problem with it, for the same reasons Raecchi put at the end here. Smile If we're worried about longer intercourse or certain positions, we put down a towel. I think we both try to be considerate about this, and so we've never had any problems.

Blue Coyote's picture

Devotee

...for me, but I have unusually painful periods and can't stand to be touched at all (at least by anyone else~ as Raecchi mentioned orgasms are soothing to cramps). But I'm usually horny pretty much right up til the pain starts hitting me- which is also an hour or two before the bleeding starts.
MsGamgee- I think your fellow might have been alarmed to think that he might have hurt you. Neither of you were expecting your-friend-Flo to visit for another week, seeing blood when you aren't expecting it can be rather shocking, particularly if you'd been enthusiastic.
Some cultures and religions think that menstrual blood is unclean. Others think it holds great power. But nearly all cultures, whether patriarchal or matriarchal, tended to think it was something to be avoided/kept seperate. But tradionally men and women had much more seperate lives than we do now, and also worse hygiene. If it doesn't hurt you and dosen't bother him than have all the fun you want. We live in a modern and enlightened society. We have showers, towels/laundry, and we even have condoms for the squeamish (and be noted that being on your period is Not a "safe" time to have unprotected sex- that egg may still be there and it takes not that long at all for fertilization and implantation to occur).

MsGamgee's picture

Embodiment

I'm pretty sure he wasn't scared of hurting me: he knows I would have told him pretty quick if he had! I can imagine, though, that for a relatively young man who has had limited experience with women (solely me, in fact), looking down at one's genitals and seeing unexpected blood might just be a slightly upsetting image. Heh, that's kind of why I apologized; as stated above, not really my fault that my hormones are twerky, but I'd have spared him the picture/cleanup if I could've. Blum 3

Thank you all for commenting! It's just something I was thinking about, and it seemed like this is a good group to discuss it with. Smile

fairnymph's picture

Embodiment

Some people are just unnerved by the sight of blood, as well.

TheBoy's picture

Embodiment

expected blood is still a somewhat disconcerting image.

Most men are pretty protective of their peckers.

Someone's picture

Postulant

I don't know what my personal opinion on it is. I know I wouldn't want to go down on my girlfriend during her period, but other than that ... not that it's likely to come up. For her it's a total no-no.

Interestingly, one of my friends is a big fan of sex during his girlfriend's period. He seems to find blood erotic. Shrug to each their own.

kawaiikune's picture

Embodiment

Tampons make period times basically indistinguishable from non-period times. Is it on principle, or because you don't want blood near your face? Would you go down on your girlfriend if she had a tampon in?

GreenGlass's picture

Supplicant

I am not always able to predict the correct size I will need, and therefore usually do NOT trust tampons to make me blood free. I don't think I would like having to worry about blood seeping through, or the string, or any of that. Personally, I'd MUCH rather stick to no oral.

Blue Coyote's picture

Devotee

I'll go down on my girlfriend during her period with a tampon in, there's really no mess then and nothing to worry about with the string (Unless you're doing oral in an entierly different way- it's all about the clit which is ususally a bit away from the vaginal opening). But usually neither of us is particularly horny during that time. I find pain to be very off-putting and blood is distressing. I don't really understand the people who think blood is sexy or glamorous. Blood is always accociated with pain to me, and after that (as offspring of a RN) I can only think of probable disease vectors.

Voyeur's picture

Shrug For what it's worth, I usually do like oral sex to involve some stimulation of the vaginal opening as well as the clit.

crypto's picture

doesn't bother me, that's what showers are for. just don't expect any oral attention.

Swedgin's picture

I've never really had a problem with riding the red river. Just throw an extra towel on the bed, or on the floor, and have at it.

Caveat being, it really depends on how the lady friend feels. I've dated some that were extra horny that week, and some that were just extra angry. Best to let her broach the subject, especially if it's that time of the month.

MeiLin's picture

Most High

Yeah, at our house, not so much. No other reason than mess; it'd be better if our bath were en suite rather than down the hall...

Nye's picture

Supplicant

as long as I'm not going to ruin anything with the mess. I'm generally slightly less interested in sex then, but that's not always a given. A towel is more than plenty to deal, or we can just have at in the shower. It's really up to my partner. I don't get cramps, and my flow is only heavy-ish for a day or two.

Shinjinarenai's picture

Postulant

I'm usually up for basically anything, and before and during I'm usually pretty horny, but... I'm not a fan of blood. It makes me feel kind of faint, and plus it hurts- so no, no sex. I'm still happy to mess around though, so long as I get to keep my undies on, so it's never been a problem. Props to you anyone who can stomach it! Blum 3

Oddfish's picture

Postulant

It can get pretty gory, so the mess and his squick factor would be considerable. Plus I stress out about "Oh God what if it's worse than it looked/it was," so that diminishes the fun. At the very end when there's only so much left, that's negotiable, but for the better part of a week it's more trouble than it's worth, since even with birth control there is a considerable amount of blood.

Pikachu42's picture

Embodiment

while my monthly visitor was here. It was an interesting experience to be sure. My ex fiance' and I first did it on our one year anniversary, and we used a bunch of towels. A BUNCH OF TOWELS as we were in a hotel >_

blwinteler's picture

Supplicant

about being tired of dirtying towels. Once in a while I am extra horny on my period and extra sensitive in a good way. Some of my best orgasms have been during my period. But usually that is right at the beginning or very end when it is very light. My husband doesn't seem to mind. Definitely no oral. I can't really do tampons unless I absolutely have to (starting unexpectedly at work and having to find a woman with something I can use). They are just incredibly uncomfortable for me. So, even if they do keep the mess from interfering with oral, it just won't happen. I do have an enormous bathtub (as in my 6'5" husband and I both fit in it comfortably). When I stop being so sensitive (in a bad way), it would be a good way to avoid messes.

lurker's picture

As a woman who has heavy painful periods (when they actually arrive), I vote no on sex during my period. I tried it once, and it did not make it feel better like my ex-BF claimed it would. I'm just too sensitive, achy, crampy down there to tolerate any sort of attention.

fairnymph's picture

Embodiment

I'm extra-sensitive on my period, I also find blood arousing (in nearly any context), and the additional lube is kind of fun (though oddly, my period usually temporarily stop during penetration). I also tend to be quite horny!

I don't usually have sex on the first day of my period because I have vicious cramps which require prescription opiates, and they make me very irritable (also, opiates inhibit orgasm for me). If I'm not in pain/drugged, I love it. I've never, ever had a guy have an issue with it - some guys hesitate at first because they've never been with a menstruating woman, often because their previous partners weren't up for it. I've even known guys who wanted to go down on me while I was bleeding, though I rarely find receiving exciting so that hasn't ever happened.

Saramander's picture

Petitioner

In general, I am REALLY horny right before my period starts and usually for the first day, but I am also pretty grossed out by the whole monthly business (I generally don't have issues with blood, I actually do find it arousing in some contexts, but menstrual blood is something entirely different for me). My BF and I are kinda clean freaks, so when we have done it, we use a towel and condoms and there is little to no manual stimulation. I usually feel just dirty and gross, so unlike raecchi I definitely do not feel sexy having sex on my period. I have found the extra lube helpful, but I usually get pretty achy in the labia area and its really difficult for me to orgasm on my period. So, I guess to answer your question, We do it with a reasonable amount of frequency, but I'm usually doing it more to please him than expecting to get full pleasure myself. As I really enjoy making him happy in bed, I really don't see it as any big thing, I don't need to cum every time to have a good time/be satisfied.

Moo's picture

it depends on my boy, and we've gone through a few phases on this question. At the beginning of our relationship, he didn't mind, namely because we could only have sex once a week, and that only if our roommates were getting the hell out of one of the rooms. After we each got single rooms, he didn't care for it... Not as pressing a need, I suppose. Now, due to my moving back in with my family, we see each other almost every day, but I only stay over once a week, and so he's gotten back into it. We've also realized that my period tends to be lighter and end sooner if I'm having sex while my period's going on, and so that's a plus for both of us. It's never really gotten so messy so as to require towels on the bed.

NorthwoodsMan's picture

Embodiment

Doesn't bother me so much. Yes, maybe an extra towel, and a good clean up, if not full shower, after. It depends on my partner. Some are really bothered by it, some done just because of the cramps, some are turned on and want it all the more. A couple times I've gone down during and just stay more towards the "top."

But there are other "alternatives." Oral, handjobs, etc...

faile486's picture

Petitioner

I have sex during my period, and I love it. It's just generally not vaginal sex.

Tigger's picture

My husband doesn't mind, but I'm not so much for it. Actually, really really against it. Not for others - that's a personal choice - but for myself. If there's even a bit of blood, I'm yucked out. Also worried about infection and whatnot - husband is "uncut" and I know that can make it harder to keep things clean. I don't want to make it harder on him, no matter what he says.

I used to not have a problem with it - a towel, a shower, good to go. As I've gotten older, though, my brain has changed and now I'm just not into it. Perhaps someday I'll change my mind again.

Capriox's picture

Embodiment

I'm with you. Nothing against it in the abstract for others, but not for me. Between the blood, the diaper-like feeling of wearing pads, the occasional cramps or bloating, slightly tweaked sensory perception (smells and touch), and the hormone-induced emotional twitchiness I just don't feel 100% me during the first three days, and I certainly don't feel sexy! Plus both my husband and I are icked out by menstrual blood (after all, it isn't just blood, but slimy, mucus-y blood) in oral sex.

But like others have said, sometimes towards the end of my period I get extra randy, so by the end of the usually six day wait, we're both very much glad to go at it again Wink

fairnymph's picture

Embodiment

FYI, your husband's intact state isn't an issue. But, being yucked out definitely is a good reason to avoid.

lady bp's picture

Just wanted to comment on something that's kind of weird for me! Smile

Anyway, I live in Europe and I've read/seen/gathered that in America, most males are circumcised (sp??). I don't know if that's the deal?... But anyway, I find it very very odd or sort of... I dunno, a strange concept overall Blum 3 Maybe it's not common here because I haven't noticed any large populations of Jewish around here (at least in my country there are very very very few Jewish people), and thus we haven't been affected by their cultural habits almost at all.

I doubt ANY sexually active female friend of mine has ever seen a circumcised penis, neither have I for that matter Smile And the whole concept is extremely odd.

P.S. I suppose the idea of an uncircumcised penis might be strange for you too? Would anyone care to comment? (a strange question & comment I'm making, I know! Damned curiosity :P)

Blue Coyote's picture

Devotee

Isn't even really a religious thing, it is considered to be medically nescessary. Parents of newborn boys have to specifically deny the procedure or it's automaticly done by the hospital before the baby is sent home. I only ever knew one guy who was uncircumcised and it looked strange to my eyes when he showed it to me, all I had ever seen (even in pictures, even Grays Anatomy!) were 'cut'.
There is cultural bias that penises with foreskins are unclean, prone to diseases and infections. And that men with foreskins have no self-control, can't be handled or blown without comming instantly and have no stamina. Of course there is also the belief that the French and the Spanish are the worlds greatest lovers (plus American women melt for sexy accents) and everyone knows allEuropeans are uncut (and the women don't shave).
We're really bi-polar that way about a lot of things...
But it should be noted that not many Native Americans practise circumcision even though many are Christian, they still hold to tradional beliefs (and don't cut their hair either). And there's always been a lot of immigration from Europe as well as Mexico and Canada (but I think it is as widely practiced in Canada as the Us).

lady bp's picture

Haha! Biggrin Some of those things sound hilarious. Thank you, I haven't heard of those misconceptions before. As for uncleanliness/infections I can definitely say that is not true. True, I'm a girl, but I can confidently say based on my boyfriend that if you shower regularly, every 2 days for example, there isn't even a need to pay "extra-special" attention to the foreskin... Just regular washing is fine Smile

(Though: when my brother was smaller, like 5-ish, I remember my mom helped him clean the penis because in the case of a small child he can't clean it properly himself. In that case, yes, if a small boy can't/doesn't wash pulling the foreskin back too, there might be infection... But later in life I suppose he'd be glad for the extra sensitivity too, though I really can't comment whether the stereotype of that is really true or not.)

And by the way: do you think there might be any connection with the widespread circumcision practice and the stereotype I've come across that the Jewish are more prone to become doctors (and lawyers and etc)? I mean, the practice had to come somewhere. I guess that's what I'm curious about most.

A little bit TL;DR, but thank you for answering my previous post! Biggrin

MsGamgee's picture

Embodiment

Every two days is regular bathing? :O

Every day is a MUST.

lady bp's picture

Yeah, sorry if this comes off as ranty or aggressive Blum 3

I just wanted to comment on the fact that a lot of people I know (and me) think the Americans are too obsessed with... uh... sanitizing themselves Blum 3 of course, this is an idea that is filtered to us through movies and commercials, so of course feel free to pipe up and defend thyselves! Biggrin

See, what I mean is... For one, if you keep the "dreaded germs" off your body at all times, i.e. wash like 2 times a day, you are in fact making yourself open to more danger, dramatically put. (you eradicate your natural microfauna - a human is designed to have their own "safe" germs and etc... but of course everybody knows that, so sorry if I'm overstating things) Also - many many hair stylists have stressed to me that if possible, do not wash your hair every day... I get greasy hair quickly, so I have to be careful but also wash more often. Gentle washing with gentle shampoos is okay, but doesn't clean my hair as effectively... Sucks, doesn't it? Blum 3 (though not everyone has sensitive skin and greasy hair like me, so I'm stating that's 100% for everyone).

What my whole point is is that, since I'm interested in stereotypes and the whys (hence my questions about circumcision also), uh... there really is no great point... Just that this over-cleanliness seems strange to me. I really see no point on 30 different "immunity boosting yoghurts" and "100% guaranteed germ killing soap" and sterilised environments; the world is not out to kill you and your ancestors didn't die of eating apples picked straight from the ground (which, by the way, is PERFECTLY SAFE IF the ground in question hasn't been fertilized and affected by chemical compounds and such).

I once again apologize for very long posts, I'm just very intrigued by our difference in thought; I gather most if not all of you are from the U.S. Our worlds are so different Blum 3 (also cleanliness-obsession is a pet peeve of mine, have you noticed? :P)

lady bp's picture

sorry, correction: "that's NOT 100% true for everyone"

MsGamgee's picture

Embodiment

I'm not a germ freak. I mostly just refuse to stank up a room because I didn't shower for three days, heh. I'm not saying that I want my lady bits to smell like lavender, just that body odor is not an attractive feature to mainstream America. Even if other people think this is silly, I promise you that a person who is less clean than the American standard is certainly less likely to give a respectable first impression, which is key in forming relationships and getting jobs. (Such things are very much on my mind, since in a few years I'll be going to about twenty seven interviews a day, trying to get one successful one...)

I don't use hand sanitizers, but I wash my hands after using the rest room, and before/after handling food or raw meat. I take one shower a day, in the morning. Believe me, I don't wash my hair every day; I have INCREDIBLY thick Italian(-American) hair, and if I did, I would have a perpetual afro of doom. My stylist recommends once a week, and I do my best to conform. But that's why they make shower caps; lets you be clean without getting hair wet.

Pretty much all our produce HAS been fertilized with chemical compounds. Unless you're going to a Farmer's Market, and an organic one at that, anything you're buying in a grocery store in America is covered in wax and/or pesticide. Maybe that's not the case elsewhere, but here, I do insist that it's very important to VERY carefully wash fresh fruit and vegetables. Even the farmers themselves suggest it; you wouldn't see one scooping up a tomato and taking a bite right in the field, because they know what they put on it!

In summary, I think parents wiping down every single solid surface that their child has ever or will ever touch with antiseptic wipes is doing more harm then good, but I don't see the problem with bathing daily. For me, it's not a germ thing, it's a self-respect and self-image thing. (Also, I can't imagine what my skin would do if I didn't bathe every day; it's hard enough to keep it clean and fresh as it is!)

Saramander's picture

Petitioner

Regular showers and washing hands, food, etc. is a good idea, but not everyone needs a shower every day. There's nothing wrong with either approach, its a difference of opinion, feeling, and body chemistry. Chillax, folks, there's no need to get defensive about personal hygiene on the internet, no one can smell you here Wink

lady bp's picture

hehe - thanks everybody for putting out their thoughts, I don't much take part in forum discussions and such, so it's very interesting for me to read your thoughts Smile
Anyway, I didn't mean to sound overly defensive and MsGamgee raised some interesting things I didn't think about personally. Specifically the abundance of fertilizers and chemical compounds in your everyday lives - I live in a somewhat different environment (also my family makes an effort to keep it more natural). I agree that when you live in an environment like that, it's logical to wipe everything down Wink I just didn't come to it myself - see, I'm learning new things about your lives! Biggrin and that's positive.
Also Saramander put it well (I got carried away and forgot to add this point in my previous posts, heh) that it's a personal preference and personal hygiene, is after all, one's one business Smile

Davik's picture

Embodiment

Ok, so I'm not going to chime in as far as the social aspects of bathing, but people need to stop using all these damned "antibacterial" soaps. All diseases mutate, so anything that kills a disease will ultimately produce a resistant disease if you keep throwing antibiotics at it.

Quick experiment time: take a petri dish with growth medium and one antibiotic on it, and smear it with E. Coli. Take what grows, dump it in a beaker full of growth medium. Smear the results on a petri dish with the same growth medium with both the first and a new antibiotic. Collect what grows. Congratulations, you now have a doubly resistant strain of E. Coli.

In addition to this, the more your immune system has to deal with some of the little shit, the better your system is able to adapt to new threats. It's like a muscle, the more you use it the stronger it gets; "that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger". So go out without all the antibiotic crap, get sick with some random BS, and you'll be in better shape when something real comes along.

Capriox's picture

Embodiment

Hee, I've never heard it put that way before - that Jews are more "prone" to becoming doctors and lawyers like it's some sort of genetic disease. I would say in the US the stereotype is for Jewish mothers to guilt their sons into high-paying professional careers and their daughters into marrying (Jewish) men who have high-paying professions.

Americans didn't adopt because our ancestors thought it would help us get high-paying professional careers like the Jews, though. I think it had more to do with our love-hate relationship with sexuality (go Puritan heritage!) and the adoption of some weird Victorian practices - tame that male lust, sanitize everything (in both the medical and cultural sense), blah blah blah.

Saramander's picture

Petitioner

I heard an interesting theory that around WWI, so many guys were getting really nasty VD and infections and stuff that the doctors out on the front lines came back with the idea that it was necessary to do it to babies to keep them from getting infections later in life. Interestingly enough, studies have shown that men who are circumcised are less likely to contract AIDS than those who aren't. I personally wouldn't snip my baby's foreskin, though, I think they should have the choice to do it later (my boyfriend is uncut and while it can be annoying sometimes, he says he is glad his parents gave him the choice.)

fairnymph's picture

Embodiment

Routine infant circumcision predates WWII by decades - it was a puritanical thing, believed to inhibit masturbation. That's why it started in the US.

lady bp's picture

Oh, another correction: What I tried to say was that this is a trend of sorts I've noticed, Jewish people being more inclined to try for high-paying jobs - apparently because of their moms! I didn't know that, thanks Blum 3 (I realize it's still a stereotype and not necessarily true)

What you wrote about Puritan beliefs and such is also very interesting, I've never thought of it like that before. Though lately I've thought more and more that you have a very sort of bipolar relationship with sexuality. On one hand the (female) body is becoming more and more bare and displayed in pop culture, on the other hand sexuality is also demonized, especially sexuality in minors - which does exist in your country after all as it does everywhere else. The attitudes seem extremely, very strange to me indeed...

Of course I've noticed I'm a bit of a deviant in my own social circles too, so I couldn't speak for my whole country or Europe for that matter... Blum 3 my mom raised me to be open-minded, so here I am...

Saramander's picture

Petitioner

America, in general, has issues with sex. I'm generalizing, of course, but as a culture, we have been sexually repressed for a very long time and sex is just now becoming more "acceptable" (in the last 40 years or so) and as a result, the population gets polarized and people start using hypocritical standards to judge mass entertainment. Europe (in general, as I understand it) has had a much more relaxed relationship with sex going back centuries. America was founded by Puritains, people who believe that women are inherently evil, sex is dirty and wrong and should only be done to procreate, and celebrating ANY holiday (including Christmas) was extravagant and sinful. We've come a long way, but we are kind of in our cultural adolescence (in many ways, even not talking about sex) and it shows in things like what we think is acceptable behavior or entertainment.

GreenGlass's picture

Supplicant

I can't speak for the rest of the nation, but I grew up in a subculture that circumcises baby boys because it's in the Bible. Yeah it's also supposed to "cleaner" and all that, but as far as I can tell, this subculture does it for religious reasons, just like they have church on Saturday and attribute other practices to evolved Christian reasoning.

Jay's picture

As a Canadian I think I can say it's not as widely practiced in Canada as in America. I'm from the West part of Canada though, so not all of what I say may hold for the Easterners.

My wife and I had a baby last year, and I assure you circumcision is not the default in Canada. In fact, you have to talk to your doctor and sign papers if you want your baby circumcised. (We didn't, so I don't know details of just how hard that is.) The nurses give you information encouraging you to not circumcise your baby, when you go in for checkups while pregnant.

Among my male friends almost all are uncircumcised. My parent's generation (people in their 40s or 50s) seem to be circumcised more often. Among the random crowd at the World Naked Bikeride I took part in, most guys were uncircumcised, even though there was a good distribution of ages among the crowd.

fairnymph's picture

Embodiment

The term uncut or uncircumcised drives me nuts. INTACT IS THE DEFAULT, NORMAL STATE.

Saramander's picture

Petitioner

Excatly. UNcut as in NOTcut as in intact. In a society where a sizeable majority of men are cut, its important to make the distinction.

SongCoyote's picture

Devotee

The only thing a period interferes with around my household is cunnilingus, and even that only if there's actual bleeding going on at the time.

As others have said, we go through a lot of towels, and not just at that time of the month. There be rainmakers among us that require that we use a plastic barrier and 2nd sheet and towels when we really get into it. Lakes, I tells ya!

Ahem. Anyway, yes, we enjoy sex and periods don't generally stop us unless there's excess blood, cramping, or other stuff that normally would anyway.

Light and laughter,
SongCoyote

TheFerret's picture

Devotee

of being touched during a period, which kinda stinks - cause I've discovered that around day 3 I'm pretty turned on all day long for a couple days. But still way unwilling to do anything about it.
I also found out by accident that sex right before I start (like the day before) makes the flow outrageously heavy and brought on the absolute worst cramps of my life. Like, screaming in pain cramps, so now in addition to being icky about the blood, now I'm freaked out by the possible pain to follow.

MsGamgee's picture

Embodiment

But now I'm just confused. I mean, my body is usually pretty dependable when it comes to periods; in fact, if I try to skip the inactive pills, I have my period anyway, and it just lasts a few days longer as if my hormones are laughing and spiting me. Thing is, on this new pill, I've got no idea what's going on! Bled Wednesday, a week early, stopped. Bled Friday DURING SEX, stopped. Nothing before or since. I'm supposed to start Tuesday or Wednesday anyway, but jeez, body: figure it out! -.-

TheBoy's picture

Embodiment

That when you change your prescription shit goes haywire for a month or two.

Shinjinarenai's picture

Postulant

Changing prescriptions, or starting them, can lead to 'spotting' between times. Something I really wish my doc had told me specifically, since I was a very freaked out 16 year old having blood at weird times. Blum 3

MsGamgee's picture

Embodiment

I'm sort of intellectually aware of that, but it didn't happen when I went on my first pills, so in my heart I was hoping I was exempt from that. Darn... Sad

Andrea's picture

Supplicant

My SO and I dry hump rather than actually have sex, so period time isn't really separated from non-period time except that I'm hornier and a little bloated-feeling. If we ever find ourselves in a position where we're about to have sex and I'm on my period, I'll do whatever he's most comfortable with. I'm open to it since my periods aren't painful and blood doesn't bother me, but I suspect he'd be grossed out by the whole thing even in theory, so we'd probably just revert back to what we do now.

sarianna's picture

Devotee

Doesn't bother me. Then again, with my Mirena, I barely bleed anymore. Thankfully. But the boyfriend doesn't mind, nor do any of my silicone friends (yeyyyy dishwashers!). Wink

lady bp's picture

Well... me and my boyfriend have had sex during my period before. I was on the Evra Patch for a while and the flow was easier... We bought baby wipes for cleaning afterwards (since we're usually at my grandma's and the bathroom is on the other side of the house, it would be very difficult to get there with naked & bloody nethers :P), put old towels on the bed which I washed by hand later and... That's it!

He is a bit squicky about it, but he loves me & sex a lot Blum 3 Also I thought it'd be easier if I offered to clean him afterward, and it was mostly fine. We don't do it much, because it's a lot of hassle and cleaning and etc. But it's doable and okay with us Smile

eric_the_girl's picture

Devotee

So we don't really get up to that kind of thing. I don't even like the fact that mine descend upon me at random usually in the middle of the night...
I tried it once, it didn't really do much for me and a few weeks later I split up with the guy because I couldn't really get over the hang-up I had.

sherinik's picture

Postulant

Those who weirdly think reproduction and everything around it is sacred and untouchable and those who think it is sacred and very touchable. F'r gawd's sake - what is with people who think pregnant women aren't or can't/shouldn't be sexy? How do you think they got that way? Those types don't like to be reminded of menstruation because it reminds them that sex is a reproductive activity. Oedipus anybody?

Like some others have said, I'm often very interested then, and I have to say that not getting the attention I need for no better reason than that societal taboo is a real relationship killer for me. For me, that's the best time for the dreamy, slow kind of lovemaking, and the extra lube can help when you're not 'sizzling hot'. On the other hand, very vigorous penetration can set off or make cramps worse, and if I'm really bloaty/crampy then don't come near me. So all in all for me, that's a bonding time - love me gently even though I feel blech, or know when to leave me alone. A guy who can do both, or even just knows to ask! is worth absolute gold in my book.

Gudy's picture

Embodiment

You're looking mighty silly shouting bullshit from your soapbox, but hey, to each their own...

The wife doesn't like it (squick + owie + cramps + generally not feeling up for sex), I don't like it (squick - cunnilingus is a big part of our sex life, and I'm just not up for earning my red wings), so we pass and cuddle instead.

MeiLin's picture

Most High

...that we would all give one another the benefit of the doubt here, especially considering the intimate stuff that we're sharing. Please assume the best of one another, not the worst.

Gudy's picture

Embodiment

I try, and I mostly succeed (I hope), but some things just... I don't know. Again, sorry.

Stormy's picture

Supplicant

Well, when I was dating a guy in Canada, we only saw each other for a week once every six months or so. Once that week was during my period so...I did feel kinda bad, though, because we were in a hotel so all the towels were white. :O And we had been discussing lots of oral sex fantasies that didn't come to fruition.

Generally I have a day or so of greater arousal around the first day of my period. I've only been with one guy who had a problem with it and it doesn't squick me, so whether or not to have period sex for me has often been determined by whether or not I feel like dealing with the mess afterward.

Jay's picture

My wife and I love our red bed sheets! They're cheerful, and bright, and great for sex during her period. We've never found it painful, just a little over-lubed. (We've *never* used artificial lube during her period or not, because we're naturally lube-y, and sometimes have to dry out a bit to get enough friction for pleasure.) Cunnilingus isn't a big part of our sex life, so I haven't tried it during my wife's period. Periods are rather stinky, and I have a big beard, so I'm not sure if either of us would like the clinging smell afterwards. We don't use hair products or shampoo, so we have nothing I can think of that would take the smell out of my beard. Maybe vinegar? Smile

Saramander's picture

Petitioner

Plain old soap should do the trick...

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