Mon, 08/11/2008 - 6:26am
Not much reason to change, I think. "More accurate" sounds like you're going to go text-book or stroke story on us. Neither of those really fits the way you're presenting the story. "More euphemistic" strikes me as "reducing the MPAA rating", which I think is horribly unfair to the present audience.
Simply put, you're an R-rated story, no one under 18 admitted without parent.
Don't change a thing.
Mon, 08/11/2008 - 4:49pm
Reading this would be a little awkward with a parent...
Mon, 08/11/2008 - 7:52am
I agree, but "Leave it the way it is" wasn't an option!
Mon, 08/11/2008 - 9:17am
the author to write naturally. }:)
Mon, 08/11/2008 - 10:08am
I wasn't asking for direction, folks.
OMG I'm so glad I'm home. I just had a flash of pure gratitude...
Mon, 08/11/2008 - 10:17am
I, also, meant in general. I want sex scenes to read naturally.
Mon, 08/11/2008 - 10:41pm
about hot flashes, because it'd probably lead to TMI. But I'd also vote for "write naturally". Fine like it is
Mon, 08/11/2008 - 10:54pm
At least, Sir says I sleep through them...
Tue, 08/12/2008 - 12:18am
Keep it as is! It's best that way.
lalalala (not verified)
Tue, 08/12/2008 - 3:15am
I voted for “euphemistic,” but now that I think about it, that’s not what I really want from a sex scene. What I look for is character’s reactions to HOW they feel. For instance, when Temmin and Issak first ‘got it on’ (there’s a crappy euphemism for you ) the writing did nothing for me. Actually, it sort of grossed me out. There was a lack of emotional connection between the characters, and some of the terminology used was less than appealing. On the other hand, the scenes with Twenna and Harsin I found well written because (as far as I could tell) they were not meant to arouse but to elaborate on Harsin’s frame of mind and Tremont in general. I loved the sex scenes between Emma and Warin. Even Emma and…everyone else, because your writing captured her own confusion, distress and desire so well. It was disturbing and, at times, hard for me to continue, but you wrote it well.
I still prefer consenting sex however, so kudos again to Emma and Warin
I realize plenty of readers will disagree with me, but I love this story, and it’s nice to have input. Thanks Mel! I hope this was usefull.
Tue, 08/12/2008 - 11:15pm
... really varies a lot. I found that scene between Temmin and Issak very hot and I read it more than once. }:)
Tue, 08/12/2008 - 5:38am
with the horde that prefers it as-is. There are a few times where creative synonyms for genitalia irk me, but I don't think I've actually encountered that in this story. For the most part I think the 'euphemistic' language of the schmexy scenes tend to communicate more mood and emotion than 'insert tab a into slot b' type writing would get across.
Tue, 08/12/2008 - 8:04pm
Hey since everyone is say this is for general but the two main options say more, more than what. As we all read a history we shall have to compare to it. However its perfect, so the option does not exist, so I shall add my as is.
Viruslife (very sleepy today :()
Fri, 08/15/2008 - 1:17pm
As long as nothing changes, it will be exactly what I want. I hate most people's sexy writing, and I read this like it's my job. Even the things I'm not into are hot.
Mon, 08/18/2008 - 5:18pm
I can't say I'd suggest any change either. Though, I'm not much of a writer myself so maybe mine isn't much of an opinion! lol. I think this story is written very fluidly and with attention to details from many different angles. Which ends up making it more vibrant than most things I've read.
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