How's a lady to get some?
So, I'm in an odd position for most of the normal world.
I'm married, for almost 2 years now, to a man I've been with for over 6 years. He is..... not interested in sex. This is mostly a combination of medical and psychological things that aren't going to be remedied anytime soon, though we both hope they may be eventually. It was 4 months before we consummated our marriage. It's now been well over a year since we've been intimate with each other. Aside from a brief flurry of sexual activity when we first got together, sex has been sporadic at best between us.
I... have a demanding sex drive. I'm able to put it on hold for periods of time, but eventually needs will catch up to me. We managed through some trial and a lot of error to come to an arrangement that mostly works for us. I'm polyamorous by nature anyway... and considering the situation, he deals. So I occasionally take other lovers, more often regularly for a period of time, but sometimes just once. They are usually friends of mine, usually people I've known a long time. I don't tend to stay too long with any one partner as they have been known to get clingy and/or dependent. It's a part of being a rare female among a lot of geeks who may not have a lot of relationship experience, sexual or otherwise. They have thus far managed moving back to being friends after beng freinds with benefits for a time. Honestly, it mostly works. Or it did.
Problem. I've had a difficult time finding interested, suitable lovers for the past couple years. I think on some level that my being married just makes it that much harder for a guy to be willing to be with me. I have been turned down specifically because I'm married, though only once. I'm an honest person, and I'm not going to lie about that just to get laid. On the flip side, my husband gets propositioned a lot more now that he's married. How's that for ironic? He turns them down, not because I want him to, but because he's just not interested.
At this point I've had sex once in the last year. I fully admit that was a booty call on a previous lover because I couldn't handle not being touched in over a year. I'm frustrated. I'm horny. And I know I make too many snarky remarks to my husband because I'm sexually frustrated.
So... any advice?