Near-Death Experience

I had one. Recently.
Without too too many details, imagine parking a car.
Now, imagine doing it by accident.
On its roof.
From a starting point of "highway speed."

Now, imagine walking away. Scratches, bruises, and aches and pains. No fractures, notable neural damage, etc.

I'm...turning things over in my head--how it came to pass, how I came to survive. Sole occupant, single-car.

Car-and-health-insurance mean that, financially, this may be a headache, but it won't be a game-ender.

I can usually kind of laugh about it.

Something gnaws in the background, and I don't know what. Or why. So I'm airing this out for friends in the aether, maybe some of whom know something. The day after the accident--in a way that feels more profound than most other days--is "the first day of the rest of my life."

How, if at all, should the rest be different than what was before?

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MeiLin's picture

Most High

Holy crap! I'm glad you walked away more or less.

Speaking as someone who has had an NDE of the cardiac variety, I have some insights. What did you think about when you thought you were going to die? That's the thing to focus on. I had a few thoughts, only one of which surprised me: omigod, my husband, my kids, my parents--expected; but I haven't written anything yet--not expected.

That's what, besides my family, I've focused on. I tell everyone I love that I love them whenever we part now, and I'm writing as fast as I can.

TheBoy's picture

Embodiment

Mostly, that went "Is this what it's like when you're about to die?"
There were some images of glass shattering, and spatial disorientation.
if there'd been a clear worry...that might be easier.

MeiLin's picture

Most High

Instinctively, you know. You know what your purpose is, what at a deep level you're here for. We all do, but sometimes it takes an experience like this to jolt us on to our true paths. I know that's what it took for me. Love you.

Edited to add: the very fact that you're questioning yourself about these things tells me you know.

TheBoy's picture

Embodiment

I haven't had anything besides some aches and pains, and a realization that I'm really really lucky this time.

MeiLin's picture

Most High

you're where you're supposed to be. Smile If you're feeling an existential ache, like, isn't there more? There may be more.

Tigger's picture

Supplicant

"What the fuckity fuck?" I, too, am glad you walked away with relatively minor injuries. Car accidents are some scary shit, even when they DON'T cause NDE's. Sending you gentle hugs.

As for how things should change...I really can't say. I haven't had an NDE. In my mind, I should think that if you're not already living the life you want to, it's time to do something about that. If you're going to randomly die, I should think you'd at least want to be happy when you do...if that's possible. I don't mean "oh good, I've done everything I intended to do so I'm glad this train is derailing". I mean "I've lived a good life. I'd rather not die, but I think I'm okay with it" sort of thing. Shrug I suck at the words lately so I've put this the best I can. I know it sounds trite, but I don't mean it to be.

NorthwoodsMan's picture

Embodiment

Ya know, if you wanted a new car, tradeing it in would have a much better option than using salvage value as a down payment.

Also much less stress and trama...

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