The Old Broad Rap
Over on BPAL.org I called myself an Old Broad of BPAL ("Get off my Lawn Gnome!"); another gal said she wasn't an old broad though we're about the same age. I like being an old broad, and this is why:
I no longer feel bound by convention.
I'm out of sexual contention,
No longer an object of casual male contemplation.
It's a Manic Panic'd gray hair celebration!
I'm too old to care about my mother's condemnation--
An old broad like me has no time for prevarication.
I'm not old enough yet to collect on my pension,
But I'm old enough to no longer fear reinvention
Even though I still fear water retention.
Get that Red Hat shit out of my immediate location!
You took that awesome poem and made it a commercial fabrication.
So that's why I call myself an OBB.
If you think I think I'm rapping, then you're out of your tree.