A Particular Kind of Medical Bill (updated x2)
[2nd update: The fundraiser is over, for both sorts of medical bills. The fragment is now behind the patron wall, and I'm writing a bonus story that will go up in its place as a fundraiser. I really only wanted the fragment up there for a bit. Thanks to everyone who helped!]
You've probably seen that I'm running an odd little fundraiser to help pay off some medical bills. I have a particular one that has just popped up:
My Hitachi Magic Wand has died.
*Cue organist* It was ten years old, so that's hardly surprising.
So why is this a medical bill? I'm hysterical without one, that's why. (Ask your womenfolk. They would be too.) Plus also, research, people.
So I'm writing a new bonus story that you'll be able to buy separately for 99 cents; it'll be up in the Patrons area, too. I need to sell about 50 of them to pay for the new Hitachi. Stay tuned, it should be both germane and funny.
UPDATE: Apparently the best way to get help for medical bills is to say you need sex toys. Less than three hours after I posted this I had nearly half the funds and we went ahead and hied ourselves off to ye olde locally owned female-centric sex toy shoppe. The rest of the funds--plus--were in Paypal by this morning. That's HILARIOUS! You people crack me up.
The remainder is going to the more boring medical bills. (Can haz universal health care nao plz?) I'm working on the bonus story presently. Thank you!