Dear Sir: Masturbation

Dear Sir:

I realize that masturbation is a normal part of life. However, I had tried for many years, maybe once or twice a year, and just couldn't do it. So I gave up. A few years later however, I began seriously dating a guy and we became sexually active. (whoo!) I've never had problems achieving orgasm with him. In fact, I get double digits every time. (I haven't decided if I'm easy or he's good. I'm going with the latter.) He has been able to manually stimulate me quite well. Since that time, he left for the Air Force and has been stationed thousands of miles away. I've seen him a couple times since then (it was awesome

Throughout all this, he taught me how to masturbate so I could get an orgasm. 8 months to a year apart makes Han a very sexually frustrated girl. Not quite sure how he did it but it worked. After a time it got easier and easier. When I was in school I could do it in a couple minutes flat if I was bored or just needed to get it out real quick. However, I've noticed in recent weeks that it's getting harder and harder for me to do so. It's not like it's "OMG ALL THE TIME". Probably two or three times a week, and less than that since I got home from school.

Have I done something wrong? Did I hurt myself? Do I need to just give it a rest for a little while?

Please help, Sir!

Thank you Smile
~Han-pan!

Forums: 
MeiLin's picture

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Sir will be along, but in the meantime, here I am, same equipment as you and all. Wink Stress can make orgasming in any form difficult. Have you recently started any medications? Some medications (for instance, Prozac/fluoxetine) can make orgasm delayed or near-impossible. (Ask me how I know this.)

Number one piece of advice is, relax.

Have you hurt yourself? Probably not, but if you're seriously concerned about that possibility, go get a medical exam and be frank with your provider about any way you may have hurt yourself. I mean, are you in pain? If the only problem is you can't get off, damage is not the issue.

Have you done something wrong? I cannot even begin to imagine a "wrong" way to do this, only a not-very-effective way. You may just not have found your own particular "right" way yet. How to Have an Orgasm is one of Sir's most-recommended books for women; he got it for me once, and I'm still not entirely sure why, but it struck me as a good entree into this sort of thing.

If you can, I strongly suggest you invest in a good vibrator. Seriously, I would never have married husband #1 if I'd had even a bad one. Hitachi Magic Wands (NSFW) are universally loved; ignore that funky attachment thing on it, you don't really need it, but then, your personal mileage may vary. If you're worried about portability or stashability, a Pocket Rocket might be more the thing.

I'm sure Sir will have more input, but those are my initial thoughts.

Han-pan's picture

Postulant

Thank you though Biggrin

Hmm the only medication I've started in the past few weeks was Claritan, since I've become badly allergic to my pets ( Sad ). Other than that, just the Yaz I started at the beginning of the year :3 That hasn't been an issue, I don't think.
I'm not in pain, no. But there was a time very recently where I started to bleed. It really surprised me and upset me and I was rather scared away from doing it for maybe two weeks ^^;; I don't feel any pain though. So maybe I just nicked myself with a nail or something o.O

Hahahahaha -click- Hmm interesting. It looks like it'd be helpful! Though...only for myself, since the boy doesn't have any trouble with it. -eyeroll- Fucker. He doesn't even have the mechanics and he gets it better than I do! D ). It might actually help me. Like a lot. ^^;;

See...I've heard that a vibrator would be a good idea but I'm hesitant to go for it. >..

Nyoo~ I super appreciate the advice Mei ^__^ -snugs-

MeiLin's picture

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While everyone does it differently, generally speaking one doesn't put a vibrator inside. That, after all, isn't where the nerve endings are.

Velvetackbar's picture

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Life is a series of coincidences.

May is Masturbation Month, doncha know!

Seriously. Physical damage is possible when masturbating, Han. But not with your hand, Han. Sorry. I had to.

Hands CAN cause damage, but the most likely cause would be torn skin by a fingernail, or torn skin if you aren't slick enough down south AND are doing it wrong. Both are easy to prevent: 1. clip and file down those nails, and 2. Make sure you plenty slippery down south. In addition to what Meilin says about anti-depressants doing the opposite to sexual response, you will find that some other drugs might not dimish the flame of desire, but may slacken the physical manifestation of same. In other words, you could be a dry as a warmed towel if you take some drugs. Use Lube. Its your friend. For everything but oral it is your friend.

There *is* another possibility of damage from masturbating, and that is de-sensitization. You kinda have to jill off a LOT, tho, and the solution to that is just to stop for a bit, and let your tingly bits get all tingly all over again. This would also be the excellent opportunity to put that poor overworked hand on ice Wink

AS for right and wrong ways: you tell me! I have never played with any partner that had the same masturbation style of another partner. Each person is unique. I have seen my lovers masturbate with pillows under their stomachs, and water jets on a hot tub (dont' try it...trust me,) sitting on a dryer on spin (really!) and one guy who liked to be sm...Uhhh..yeah...you get the idea. Everyone is different, and there isn't a right an wrong way, other than it being the right way to get YOU off at that particular moment.

Try varying things a little. Introduce penetration a bit. Try something small, like a pencils width, or something you can clamp down on, like a kegelciser. Here is where I give my safety advice, especially for starving students. Food should be used to FEED a starving student...not sexually pleasure one. Food can (and does) get broken inside of folks.* Sometimes in such a way that it will NOT come out unless you go spelunking. Or rather, someone wearing scrubs goes spelunking. That someone will then charge you big bucks to go spelunking, and ultimately, a toy that is designed to go into warm, inviting places is far less expensive that that someone in scrubs. If you must improvise, make sure the item is solid, NOT glass, and is either smooth and free of voids, or covered by a condom to make sure those voids don't scratch your less rugged areas.

What am I saying here? Go shopping, Girl! Save those pennies, and go to your favorite adult place to buy lube and a toy. The good Dr. Hitachi is an amazing tool, but runs the 40$ range. It is worth the price, even if it ends up just easing the muscular tension. I use it...er...sometimes... on my back! Look for "pillows" of lube at your local adult store, or wymyn owned book/toy store. Buy several different kinds. These run about a buck each, and can give you a great sampling of what is available. Thats great if you don't wanna spend 8-15$ on a lube that you might not like. Try out some of the silicone stuff, try some of scented, or flavored lubes. Taste a drop of it, explore! If you simple don't have a toy store near by, then just get some KY. Better than nothing, it does the trick in a pinch Wink

Ultimately, tho, your mission is clear: Practice, Practice, Practice. Perhaps you will sound like Jack Benny to start, but with enough practice, you too could play Carnegie Hall. If, well, I mean, uh...well, you get the idea Wink

*there is an exception: *Peeled* bananas up the ole backdoor. They break down inside the anal cavity and cannot get "stuck" for any length of time. What comes up, must come down, and in the case of bananas, that is truly the case.

Velvetackbar's picture

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You went home!

I can't cum under my parent's roof either. I don't know exactly why that is. I sure didn't have that problem before I left home but do now. Of course, I don't tend to spend more than a day or two there, but there you have it.

I can't say its "normal", but it sure isn't unusual.

Time to develop a regular sleeping schedule and give yourself some time to yourself, and explore a bit.

Velvetackbar's picture

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While, Meilin is correct, a vibrator isn't typically used for penetration, but feel free to experiment. Just don't push yourself past comfort, tho. Enjoy yourself!

Now...stretching. Keep in mind that a vagina can stretch to accommodate a baby exiting. That part of the anatomy is amazingly elastic. The anus can stretch to a similar accomodation, but the bones of the hip tend to get in the way of extreme baby-sized stretching. The keys are: Lube, time (as in take your...,) and Kegels. Yes, Kegels.
A firm and fit pelvic floor is the key to keeping that whole region down south as tight as a drum and you happy as a camper. A happy humpy camper, but a happy camper all the same.

However, you aren't talking about fists, or tiny humans, or basketballs. You are talking about toys, presumedly more or less the shape/diameter of a human penis. In that arena, you can be assured to return to relative normality in short order (say, minutes to hours,) provided you have followed the following three keys: Lube, time (as in take your...) and Kegels.

Yep. Those same keys are your key to vaginal happiness. Not *just* tightness, but happiness. You will feel him more intently, and he will in turn feel YOU more intently. Indeed, he might even enjoy sex even more when you practice with a toy. You will feel more in tune with your own body, and able to concentrate on *sharing* that tune with him.

As a side-note: I have included references to anus play, even tho I know that you might not participate in that sort of activity. I have discovered, playing with men as well as women, that some of this advice is applicable across the board. I assume that if YOU have that question, someone else, silent in their dorm-room, ISN'T asking, but is curious, so I want to give as much info as possible.

Voyeur's picture

So....I discovered mastrubation when I was like...4 or 5. Had no clue what I was DOING, but there it is. (Want proof that it's a nrmal and natural thing? There ya go..)
Anyway, not so much asking about that as...
I've never really felt an orgasm, like, ever. I feel a sense of 'done' like, okay, I'm good now (when masturbating) but there's never been any sort of mind-blowing anything.
Is that just the way I'm set up, or am I not doing something right?
Han thank you SO much for starting this thread, I would never ever have had the guts to ask otherwise.

Han-pan's picture

Postulant

You're not the only one to discover young. Though...meh. My sister made me do shit to her when I was about that age, so I sorta had an idea there was somethin good down there Blum 3
I've actually heard that about a LOT of girls too. Personally, I know I don't get off on clitoral stimulation alone, especially not by myself. I have to have penetration to do so. -shrug- And Sir has (very many) good points, trying different things will help give you an idea I-m so happy

As for you, Sir, I'm still trying to figure out how to respond to you

Velvetackbar's picture

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I had a girlfriend once who had almost the same reaction as you. She would experience a sensation of "done" exactly as you described, but no big bang, even after very very intense play.

After 9 months of play, I decided to give up. Not on her --she was a great gal, and we remain friends to this day, but rather on her having the big "ohhhHHH" moment. Essentially, she wasn't willing to experiment. She had been raised to think that all sex was evil, and touching yourself even moreso.

But that doesn't seem to be the case here, tho. However, my hunch is that you are not quite finding the right spot for you. I wish there was a way to give you the winning cupcake recipe for orgasms, (Take one pair of bagels, add a 12oz bottle of mayo and one pair of tweezer nipple clamps,) but there isn't. Most likely, after 13+ years of masturbation without intent to orgasm, your hands/body/pussy are trained to go to a preset location. After all, it's comfortable!

I would try changing the routine around. Use a different hand for a bit. change the circumstances of your masturbation. Try standing up, or laying down, or lying out in a hammock swaying in the breeze. Try leaving your pants ON, or off, as the case may be. Try more lube or less. Use a Hitachi Magic Wand and close your eyes, letting your sensations glide you. If you already use the good Dr. Hitachi, then switch your speeds. Try using a small amount of penetration. You don't have to stretch yourself like a fisting queen, but some women NEED those hormones released during penetration in order to set the stage for a rolicking orgasm.

You are already familiar with your body and your clitoris, so you are already ahead of the game!

Lastly, you didn't mention whether or not you have a lover. If you do, and you can cum with THEM, ask them to show you what they are doing down south. I have never had a partner say "no" to mutual masturbation -- the best safe sex there is!

Happy exploring!

amiciaN's picture

Petitioner

Sir said, "I have never had a partner say "no" to mutual masturbation -- the best safe sex there is!"

I'm afraid I have to disagree with the latter half of that statement. Cyber sex is the safest sex around-- absolutely no possibility of exchanging bodily fluids to result in disease, damage or pregnancy. Of course, it has it's share of other shortcomings, but it is absolutely safe from a purely physical standpoint.

I've been involved in a long-distance relationship for 3 years now; I'm waaaaay too familiar with the subjects of masturbation and cybering. *le sigh* Is it July yet? (That's when I will finally see my Master NChaka again.)

Han-pan's picture

Postulant

There's a difference between the "safest sex" and the "BEST safe sex" that he stated.
Cyber sex MAY be THE safest. But it sure as hell doesn't beat the touch of another human being, therefore mutual masturbation would make it the "best" safe sex :3

Velvetackbar's picture

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I has one:

I don't "get" cybersex. I am sure others out there enjoy it immensely, but I need two hands to type, therefore I avoids it. Actually, its probably one of the few types of sexuality I don't "get". Even some of the more bizarre things out there I will do, even if I don't enjoy it. As long as my partner enjoys it, and it's legal, I am game. Thusly, I have dressed up in all sorts of crazy outfits, been called all manner of honorifics, and been the pat of butter on a 5 man "lumberjack stack."

Cybersex, tho, just doesn't do it for me.

In truth, I wasn't even considering cybersex when I made my statement. I meant no offense, but it just didn't even pass through my mind.

I am touched that there was a correction as well as a defense. I thank you. And keyboard manufacturers everywhere thank you, as well Wink

amiciaN's picture

Petitioner

hehehe---

Whatcha think webcams and headsets are for??? }:) WinkBiggrinBlum 3

And yes Han-pan, there is still the lack of actual contact,which I sadly know only too well.

Velvetackbar's picture

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Actually...that might be fun! Who has a cam? hehehehe

No, seriously, it just wasn't even on my radar, even with the advances in technology.

Back when I last tried it....say 1992?...things were a lot different. The well equipped monitor had a big strip of velcro for holding boxes of tissues, doors had locks, and one was sure that with the addition of a laptop one would surely go blind.

Ahhh....good times, good times.

V's picture

Embodiment

There are variations on a theme that can make things a bit easier. For example, one can make it almost like writing an erotica short story, where one 'reader' is expected to make only a few messages/posts, if any, while they take care of business...the 'writer' maintaining the chat and flow of the plot. And yes, headsets and webcams one-up it handily. And of course, this is all second fiddle to actual contact. But there's still degrees.

Trystia's picture

That is fairly similar to how I like to do it. Like writing erotica just for them, with a bit of interaction and a lot of detail. It works particularly well for me though, since I can't really get off just by playing on my own, I need that mental component of imagining what is being done, and the more variety in that, the better. Luckily, I have quite the imagination, but it's still always more fun to envision a fantasy laid out by someone else, especially if it's someone I care about.

sarianna's picture

Devotee

I'm sorry to respond to such a serious comment like this, but I got a funny image stuck in my noggin...
"Private Erotica, report!"
"Yes, Sir!"

...the consequences of being partly raised by WWII vets, I suppose.

V's picture

Embodiment

they also told you to "Be serious!" on a pretty regular basis too, yes? I haven't seen anyone here who seems to be particularly tightly wound in the bedroom--you know, the "If it's not missionary, it's a sin!" crowd. Those who might have leaned in that direction seem to be actively trying to reform (Hi manoki!)

-I- thought it was funny Biggrin

TheBoy's picture

Embodiment

I'm not certain that I believe your subject line...

Wink

V's picture
sarianna's picture

Devotee

Heheh, I take sex quite seriously. I think it's quite important to be present and have fun. (Like many of my friends, I've also had scenes that were supposed to end in sex which had gales of laughter as a substitution. Like that time the bedframe broke!) 8)

kawaiikune's picture

Embodiment

I couldn't do the cybersex thing, because I also require two hands to type, until I found one of those cool little vibrators that straps to your body and another one for the inside parts. I don't know if there is a hands free solution for guys, but maybe something exists along those lines? It doesn't sound like you in particular need it, Sir, if you don't spend much time away, but I bet a general solution would be nice for guys in the same situation. They have hands-free stuff for my cell-phone, why not for other stuff?

sarianna's picture

Devotee

I'd just like to point out that the Hitachi Magic Wand isn't the be-all-end-all of electric vibes; I know a fair number of ladies (some who are sex-positive sex workers) who prefer the Wahl 7-in-one. Smile

MeiLin's picture

Most High

I'm just an enthusiastic Hitachi girl. If you're new to the whole idea, it's a great place to start, but for heaven's sakes, don't stop!

sarianna's picture

Devotee

the electricity goes out. In which case, you just move on to something else. Wink

MeiLin's picture

Most High

I have a battery-powered backup. Wink

kawaiikune's picture

Embodiment

I agree. I can't figure out why people recommend the Hitachi to beginners in vibrators. I have one now, and I use it sometimes, but I really think that the vibrations are a little too intense for people who aren't used to vibrations at all (and even still, I have to be careful...sometimes it's so strong it hurts). If I had started with that, I'm not sure I would have continued down the path of toys and experimentation. I started out with the Tender Touch Massage Kit (the top one, shown here: http://www.nawtythings.com/vibratorsn.html), and it's still one of my favorites. The other thing that I didn't like about the Hitachi was that it was very loud and makes it difficult to be discreet. This one is great because when it is in contact with you, it is virtually silent. You can just put your finger on it if you're going to lift it up, and it stays very quiet. It has different attachments so there's something for everyone (it even has a very narrow internal/external attachment that might be good for narrow openings), and an unlubricated condom fits over the head or the attachments pop off for easy cleanup, even if I use a little astroglide. I tried to find the Whal 7-in-1 that you guys were talking about, but all I found was a regular Whal massager. It seems a little like this thing, but I just wanted to share it as a younger person who loves the vibes (but is a still a little terrified of the Hitachi).

MeiLin's picture

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Maybe I'm on Prozac and it takes a lot to make me finish. I dunno. But it's the Hitachi or nothin' for me. I agree, it's noisy. The Lovers' Temple doesn't have Wahl or Tender Touch, but they do have a lot of other stuff. And, you know, you buy something? anything? And I get a spiff. Is this a great country or what?

kawaiikune's picture

Embodiment

I posted three different things, this one first, one asking about sex and age, and one asking about your deal with the Lover's Temple thing, and you hit them all right here before you could have possibly read the other two. Get out of my head? Thanks for the quick responses though Smile

MeiLin's picture

Most High

iz sykik. Smile

Velvetackbar's picture

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I can cum with a hitachi on my cock (or up my ass), but the others just kind leave me a bit...exciteable. Not completed, tho.

Nothing worse than trying to reach an orgasm with something that isn't capable of causing one. kinda like riding your bike up a slippery mountain slope. You might get there, but it's gonna take a loooooong time, and you're gonna be sore the next day.

Voyeur's picture

I do have a lover (hubby) and in fact have two kidlets. I do cum, both with him and alone, there's just no 'wow!' sensation. I only get the 'done' feeling during masturbation possibly because there's no penetration, and no real urge to continue after coming once like there is with the hubby.
I'd kinda like to get a toy, but, well, I have a hubby, what do I need a toy for?
While I wasn't raised to believe sex is evil, I was raised to believe it's for married het people. Even though I am now married, I still have a bit of a mental block when it comes to sex. Enough that I have a REALLY hard time telling the hubby what I want or don't want and describing anything? -stammerstammerstammer-

Gudy's picture

Embodiment

is trying to get that Wow! feeling, IF that is your goal.

You kind of sound like my wife: clitoral stimulation alone doesn't do it for her, and while she does get orgasms that way, they are nothing to write home about, and she not only has no urge to continue, but quite to the contrary is pretty much "done" for the evening after one of those.

Penetration, or more to the point, the g-spot stimulation to be got that way, changes things. A lot. Wow doesn't even begin to describe things when we get it right, and even if we don't, it still feels better for her than one of those purely clitoral orgasms Dr. Ruth keeps on harping on about.

So, assuming that something similar may be going on with you, one possible way to get that Wow! sensation may be to aim for the ever-elusive g-spot. A stiff (acrylic/pyrex/glass instead of latex or silicone), curved toy specifically designed for that purpose would be good for solo play, while partnered play may require nothing but two crooked fingers and a bit of lube.

On the other hand, maybe your clitoris works just fine, but somehow doesn't get the right kind or amount of stimulation, in which case a vibrator may be just the thing to try.

Shrug Clearly, some experimentation is in order...

V's picture

Embodiment

figure out a way to tell US, and then we'll tell him! Or better yet, point him at the site, and story, and tell him it's his homework assignment }:) Methinks he'll study hard and try for extra credit.

kawaiikune's picture

Embodiment

Quote:
I have a hubby, what do I need a toy for?

For using with the hubby! I use more toys with my man than I do by myself. You can use them on him if he's a little unsure as to whether or not he likes the idea of toys and I'm sure he'll come around. He can use them on you, you can use them on yourself while you do things that you usually do (like have sex), and when you're by yourself, you'll still have them! For a starter couple toy, you could try one of these: http://www.excaliburfilms.com/SexToy/302972T1_Diving_Dolphin_toy.htm. Then you have a toy you can use together, and the bullets pop out (you might need a little lube to get them in and out, but it's fine) so you can have some time for yourself. You could also try one of these: http://www.extremerestraints.com/the-heart-on-wireless-vibrating-cock-ri... (If that url doesn't come up as the Lover's Temple, you can just go to the Lover's Temple site and search for Heart-On). I have the dolphin and I love it, but the heart thing is the same idea.

I also found that, even having a hubby, it's important to me to spend time by myself. It helps me stay familiar with my body and allows me to continue to discover new things and new fantasies that I'm interested in trying out with him. I think it keeps things spicier and teaches me a lot about myself, which helps me focus on him, if that makes any sense. It makes it easier for me to have an orgasm when we're having quick sex, and makes the ones I do have better (and more numerous) when we're in the middle of a marathon session. The familiarity helps me relax and enjoy it more. I definitely recommend getting one, and if you hate it (however unlikely), you're only out $15 and you know a little bit more about yourself.

Edubs's picture

To masturbate, or not to masturbate, is a tough question to answer. I AM Han-Pan's lover, Boyfriend, whatever you want to call me. We've had amazing sexual experiances with eachother, from the very first time untill now. Being in the Air Force and stationed on the other side of the planet is one of the hardest things a relationship can go thorugh. But thank goodness for the webcam!! And tho our relation ship is not based on sex, it tends to be an ever constant part of it. As a guy, sometimes we just need that release. We produce so much Sperm a day, and without a timely release, sometime the build up can hurt. So, I feel the need to release it every now and again, but some times more than that.

Han-Pan desicion to not masturbate for a while is one i wholeheartedly agree with. I support all of her choices. and all of the people who have commented on this, thank you for your imput. I think your suggestions may possibly help Han-Pan and My Sex life together, something I'm not going to divulge about right now, being that it is personal. My goal is for me and her to maintain a healthy relationship, sexually and otherwise. And its very important she feel comfortable with herself with and without me there. Han-Pan is evetything to me. And I do very much love her.

Again, thank you for your input. The knowledge will be put t good use

Han-pan's picture

Postulant

Incredibly cute and incredibly embarrassing!! That's okay Smile ^^;

MeiLin's picture

Most High

You guys are sweet! Smile

It's so hard to be apart like that, I can't even imagine. The longest Sir and I have ever been apart is two weeks, not counting an extended hospital stay of mine a few years ago (we saw each other every day even so, but it was a month before I slept in our bed again).

Han-pan's picture

Postulant

Suffice it to say it's miserable and it sucks Blum 3 Avoid it at all costs!! Mayday mayday!! Blum 3 I mean, it's not so bad cuz of the time we do get together Never take the time together you have for granted. It's really easy to do when you're apart, you regret it immensely. Definitely the biggest lesson I've learned through all this Pardon

Lothran B's picture

From a male perspective...
- If you manage to masturbate too often your body gets blah about doing more. Let it rest a few days and things are fine.
- Lube is mandatory for more than rare occasions. If the woman makes enough, great. My wife doesn't. We used a cheap hand lotion for over a year with no problem, but switched to Astroglide on her Gyn's recommendation.
- I have zero direct experience with vibrators. I have read, from a person who claimed medical expertise, that high frequency vibrations can deaden nerves with long term exposure. Low pitched buzzes are fine, medium to high buzzes, like an insect flying, are potentially damaging.
- The effect of this damage is to reduce sensitivity to the point where only strong pulses can make the nerve react at all. This sounds very much like MeiLin's personal observation. I believe the damage could be reversed over time, so several weeks of reduced activity with zero vibrator use may be called for. If that vibrator she favors is as strong as claimed, it should probably be avoided since it might cause micro-bruising or other cumulative damage. IMO

SHolt's picture

Given a few years if medical training/close experiance in a research position (conditioned immunisupression in cranial/pelvic nerve function), I can corroborate the deadening of nerve sensation. Nerves do not like vibration at all, and prolonged exposure to bouts of intense vibration can and eventually will damage the delicate myelin sheath that surrounds the axon of the neuron. Just like they use heat and vibration in the liposuction procedure, heavy vibration tends to destabilize fat molecules. Given myelin being about 70-80% fat, the damage is oftentimes more severe than one would think. As myelin gets damaged, the axon is not as easily able to transport the active potential of the neural transmission (feeling). Hence, deadened sensation.

Significant enough damage could likely destroy feeling entirely (but I'm not as sure about this last point as everything preceeding it).

MeiLin's picture

Most High

I should have moved up to jackhammers by now. The vibration levels you're talking about I strongly suspect are industrial and constant, not small, localized and infrequent. I have things to do, you know, like write and take care of kids and cook dinner, I don't live with the thing strapped to my privates trailing an extension cord through the house. Wink I would like to see your source, please, especially since whole-body vibration in small amounts is now being sold as GOOD for you.

I'm an old lady. I've been using a vibrator for 20+ years, the Hitachi almost exclusively the last 15. NOTHING I tried before worked as well. NOTHING. It's just how I'm wired. Your Mileage May Vary. The time it takes me hasn't changed, the pressure or amount of vibration I need hasn't changed. The great barrier to an orgasm for me is not "nerve damage" from vibrators, but a little thing called Prozac.

Prozac has a set of sexual side effects that run in two extremes: You either have a very short trigger or a very prolonged one; and it can either seriously suppress or seriously rev up your libido. To my exasperation, it revs mine up and paradoxically delays my orgasm, sometimes to the point of sobbing, thrashing, spent frustration.

Velvetackbar's picture

Most High

>I don't live with the thing strapped to my privates trailing an extension cord through the house.

I'm willing to get a 100 footer Wink

Makes dishes a LOT more entertaining Wink

MeiLin's picture

Most High

you mean that it's fun to watch me drop them, hey. If you wanna buy a new set of dishes every week, that's your look-out. Or, in a word:

No.

Wink

Gudy's picture

Embodiment

You guys are entirely too cute together. Smile

MeiLin's picture

Most High

It's really rather disgusting.

Marri's picture

Supplicant

There is no such thing as "too cute".

Kunama's picture

Devotee

No such thing as too cute indeed.

Particularly since it seems like you've been married for a while, had kid(s) and all that. Nice to know that sort of stuff doesn't only reside in the younger years!

MeiLin's picture

Most High

We've been together 15+ years and were the victims of the kind of love at first sight that more closely resembles an oncoming train. whammo! I still look over at him and count myself the luckiest woman on earth.

Katie's picture

Embodiment

I know that feeling. ^_^ But I've only been married two and a half years, so....

Daymon's picture

Petitioner

Me being a hopeless romantic, I am happy to see others happy and in love. Even if I just get to read about it, and that must have been some train wreck.

I know my girlfriend feels the same way about me. We can be onry stinkers to each other and have lots of fun together.

Ara's picture

So, on this topic, I have a question about one of my more...interesting masturbation habits. Being the spry 18-year-old boy that I am, I tend to masturbate quite frequently. Living with my parents, however, makes the timing and placement somewhat difficult to overcome, and I sometimes (a lot) find myself in a predicament where there are no tissues around, and I have no time/means to get them without getting suspicion thrown at me. So I improvise: I hold in my cum. Basically I do this little maneuver where the result is basically what would happen if I tied a rubber band around the base: Orgasm, but no ejaculation and no mess. I've been wondering if this is healthy, and if I should keep doing it or not. Thanks all.

Gudy's picture

Embodiment

Just to give you something to Google for.

Short version: the implications of doing this long term have never really been studied extensively. But there are suspicions that you can train your urinary tract to always do this even if you don't want it to, which might lead to fertility problems down the road. So you may want to be careful if you ever want to have kids of your own.

In other news, if you're 18 and your parents are weird about you having a box of tissues in your room, it's time to either plan ahead more, move out, or tell them in no uncertain terms to back the fuck off.

Ara's picture

I figured that it couldn't be healthy for my urinary tract, I was just wondering how unhealthy it really was...

As for my parents, I try to plan ahead as best as I can (it's good being home alone during the summer), I am moving out for college shortly, and my family is pretty religious and pretty conservative, so I was taught at a young age that sex is bad except for marriage. Well, "taught" isn't really the right word; "learned" is really the more appropriate word. I never had "The Talk" with my parents, so I got the impression from them that sex=bad. Along with the rhetoric that the Catholic Church gives out, and you can see my problem with telling them to "fuck off." It's all good though, cause college is right around the corner. Smile

TheBoy's picture

Embodiment

I just did it in the bathroom (my folks didn't enter the kids' bathroom...) into the toilet.

manoki's picture

Supplicant

If so, take off your t-shirt and use it to wipe up. Nice soft cotton absorbs much better than tissues. Better, environmentally, too.

Nye's picture

Supplicant

socks are great - very absorbant. My pet in college used those

Velvetackbar's picture

Most High

Gotta "thing" for the argyle?

Like warm tight holes, poke yer penis into a nice ragg wool sock.

Perhaps light, fluffy...a quartertop with a pompom attached?

Or maybe you need it big, beefy...military surplus in Olive Drab.

Or maybe you need to get int he habit of carrying a hankerchief Wink

Seriously, tho:

A significant number of the guys I know just eat it. No harm no foul, as long as it's straight from the source, and hasn't been out for a long time.

Amusingly: I remember doing HIV education back in 1985, and one kid called in worried sick that he might "catch HIV" from eating his own cum. Erm...uh...no?

MeiLin's picture

Most High

I married him.

oy.

My advice: Use your dirty laundry and then do your laundry yourself (you need to be doing it at your age, you know), or just keep a damn box of kleenex in your room and empty your trash yourself. Extra points with mom to the point that she won't really care why you're doing it. Wink

The Vixen's picture

Devotee

wow... thank you so much for putting that mental image in my head lol.

Of course, I could always use that information as ammo when I get picked on for not being willing to do it myself.

Kunama's picture

Devotee

Sir wrote:
A significant number of the guys I know just eat it. No harm no foul, as long as it's straight from the source, and hasn't been out for a long time.

... huh. Look at that. More things that I've never even imagined until someone else brought it up. Such a logical solution though. Except maybe for the messy eaters.
...
....
oh dear. That's a weird mental image.

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