Definitely under happiness...
Is where one would put the news that I am about to tell you.
After almost 8 years together, 7 married next month, and 6 years since we started trying...we are finally pregnant!
Only 6 weeks, mind you. I just found out last Thursday. But! Pregnant! I haven't done this before! And I know - some of you are wondering why I am announcing this already, when so much can go wrong in the first trimester. Believe me, I know of a million things that can go horribly wrong between now and 40 weeks. I have studied infertility until I was blue in the face, for about 4 years. I am familiar with birth defects, cord accidents, incompetent cervices, unexplained miscarriages, clotting disorders, low progesterone, and a myriad of other things. I still announce it. Why? Because this was a fluke. I honestly believe that. I may never get the chance to do this again. Whether I keep it for 18 days, weeks, months, or years...I plan on celebrating this as often as I can, for as long as I can. We even got a registry set up already! I try not to be superstitious, but I find myself knocking on wood and adding caveats to everything. My best friend, who doesn't pray at all, told me on Saturday that after I left her place on Thursday, she actually said a prayer for me...and that she, too, finds herself crossing fingers and knocking on wood.
I blame my mother, my rheumatologist, and my best friends daughter. You see...my mom died about 21 months ago. Before that, and while she was still in control of her mental faculties, we were discussing Aaron and I, and how we were done actively trying, and were content with our lives the way it was. She told me "You know, you'll get pregnant when you're 33, because you wanted to be done when you were 30." I turned 33 three days before my last cycle. My rheumatologist put me on some meds for my FMS and asked if we were trying to get pregnant. I told him no, because we were infertile. He told me that this pill would make me infertile, so if we were trying it probably wouldn't happen. I told him it would take a miracle...and he told me "Miracles do happen, even when they aren't entirely welcome." I laughed. I shouldn't have. And about 2 weeks ago, my best friends 5-year-old daughter, who is in the "baby phase", asked me how old I was - I replied with "old enough". "Old enough to have a baby in your tummy?" she asked. I let her mother handle it, who simply told her that not everyone has babies in their belly, and pointed out some friends who did and didn't. And voila.
So yeah. Utterly stoked. My husband says he's "scared stupid". I won't say I'm not scared - I'm terrified. I have so many medical issues and I don't know how they're going to behave while I'm pregnant. With luck they'll mostly go away and behave themselves, but I'm not counting on it. I'll probably end up on bedrest around 6 months, if not earlier. I am supposed to be starting a new job on the 11th, and I've already told them since I won't be able to complete the contract. I will probably also end up with gestational diabetes, which means I won't be allowed to carry to term and will have a c-section...which just opens up a whole other series of worries that I am trying not to deal with.
On the whole, though, I think I can do this. It's a little late for backtracking anyways. I have a good support system in place already. I'm sorry this is so long - I haven't been sleeping the past few days and I'm a bit rambly.