Bandwagon Ho!

Since everyone else is, I'll post one of my scribblings here. I don't do actual stories, just language games that sometimes look pretty. I can't create, but I can manipulate. Language is but an iron bar, and the pen a pumping bellow.

The Best Medicine

Flashing lights and roaring sounds
Addict my generation
Knowing nought but gilded glory
Wrapped in trial's tribulation

Beneath all that flahes, glitters
There's something truly gold
Something worth this race, this struggle
'Tis laughter, pure and bold

Irony for solace
Bitter jokes for healing
And the purity of laughter
To give it all some feeling

Flashing lights and roaring sounds
Addict my generation
Knowing nought but gilded glory
Yet laughing as a nation.

TheBoy's picture
Blue Coyote's picture

Devotee

I don't normally go for poetry (especially rhymed) but this was balanced and ironic without being emo, sarcastic without being bitter. Medicine in deed, medicine also means a rhymed chant or poem or song for healing.

Zandu Ink's picture

Embodiment

I rather like it. It conjures images in my mind much like the violent games I like to entertain myself with. Well done.

The problems I have with it are few: First is the wholesale slaughter of a herd of commas. I'm no expert, but what little of poetry I know, not every line has to end with a comma. It can ruin the flow a bit. Second, the line "Never knowing fear, nor pain, nor peace" has two too many words in it. Or two syllables, anyway.

Other than that, bravo and well done.

Enid's picture

Devotee

maybe 'not known to fear, peace, nor pain'?

other than that i liked it quite a bit. it conjured up solid images of a generation lost to the worship of not just video games, but media saturation in general.

Amy's picture

Supplicant

even rhymed it stands powerful and evocative. I rather like it.

V's picture

Embodiment

But this seems decent Smile

kawaiikune's picture

Embodiment

largely because it's just not my thing (not because it's actually is stupid), but I really like that.

Slagar's picture

Devotee

Some edits have happened. I like this better. The theme here is defiance, a core of true joy and vivid life, that no lifestyle will ever completely obliterate. Sometimes that glitter you saw really was gold.

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