I found out last night that my older brother beat the daylights out of my Dad back when he was still a teenager. He did it because they got into an argument and he lost his temper. He was gonna show that old man that he was the better man! Then he slammed my Dad's head into the dryer a few times. He is VERY proud of this, and the fact that Dad lost the fight. Decades later, he is looking for proof that he is not that mans son. He is according to our parents, who you'd expect to know. He asked me to get hairs from Dad for a DNA test. I'm inclined to as I'd love to see how badly he will handle knowing for certain he's Dad's son. I haven't yet because the rational side of me says that they have huge issues that they should get professional help for.
On a related story, my nephew tried to whip my brothers butt recently for offensive conduct (invading my nephews space in a combative way to intimidate and harass). My nephew failed, which makes my brother even prouder of himself.
Whenever I try to explain their end of things to my brother he laughs and says I'm always taking up the underdogs cause. Then usually rolls his eyes and says 'women' in a 'I'm a superior man and you are the weaker sex' kinda way.
He doesn't understand me, or my principles. I've chosen to deal with him on a daily basis for the sake of others.
He belittles my choice in friends, as they give me no status. The fact that they would walk through hell for me, are there for me more than my family is, and wouldn't drop my like last weeks garbage if I didn't have money doesn't mean anything to him.
He's constantly going on about how our family is worse than others because of Dad. How in a real family grandparents would make it for every grandkid event no matter how small, costly, or distance prohibitive. What he's really saying is that as he is the only one with kids, all of us should be at their beck and call day and night for whatever he suddenly thinks we should think is important (he never goes to the games, plays, etc.). It's not like we have lives that are important (cause there is no kids in them).
I know, he's a peach. /sigh. I don't want him to reconcile with Dad (cause I can't imagine Dad ever being ok with someone who hurt him as much as my brother has). I'd like him to gain respect for Dad. He never sees how much Dad did right or good by him to make him the man with money that he is today. Its always 'I did that all on my own' when in reality its because he can negotiate better than most. The rest of the businesses needs are handled by people who really do know about running a business. If it wasn't for them, and for Dad giving him a huge help starting up, he'd be broke and flipping burgers.
The option for how I gained his respect (little as it is) isn't open to Dad. There just isn't a hot iron around when he says something that pisses Dad off to knock my brother out cold with. Suggestions?