i'm drunk and full of self-pity. Be prepared.
Be warned. I wrote this post in the middle of the night, because it had to go out somewhere, while quite drunk. If you can't stomach drunk peoplew full of self. pity, please ignore this. It had to get out, and I didn't know wehere else t put it.
Three years ago, my boyfriend and I met a girl. A hot girl, but she's royally damaged. She hasw told me part of her life story, including rape, emotional manipulation. I liked her, and I gave my boyfriend the task of trying to heal her, which included sleeping with her - no jealousy at all from me. I slept with her myself, and then both of us did, she's a highly sexual person. But after three years, she has shown no sighs of improvement.Realizing I was not able to handle her, I distanced myself from her, but still allowed my boyfriend to try.
15th of december, my boyfriend an I ( together for 6 years) have finally moved together. The other woman does not live far off, since they work at the same hospital. She has thrown a hissy fir through christmas, wanted my boyfriend to spend at least three nights a week with her, and a weeekend a month, an also new years. She said that, believing we would refuse (she was under stress because3 of a different cause, which we only learned later).
I cried a lot, but I said yes. But I could not like her anymore, bacause of the ulimatum to him: If you like me at all, you will spend new year's with me, and so on. For me, that's the lowest. My boyfriend was also sad, but he did not want ot let three years go to waste, so he agreed.
Amd since then, I'be been depresed. It's the first time for me to live apart from my parents, and my boyfriend is not here with me for three days of five working days a week. And this week, he had to work two days for 24 hours (he's a surgorn's assistant or whatever it is called in the US) and he said he'D spend sunday night with her as well. Out of five available days, I will have seen him for one afternoon and the saturday - we have martial arts training on sundays. I don't know how to react anymore. I've downed half a bottle of vodka, and dont't know what to do. I love him, and he loves me, I really believe that. I don't care about her anymore, but I fear that if I tell him to leve her alone, it will break her totally. Yet I can't bring myself to care about her anymore, she's proved too unstable for me to care for her. I don't know what to do and say anymore.
Sorry to bother you with this. I'll go to sleep now. And probably regret to have written this tomorrow.